Bones - The Complete Second Season

Written by Senora Bicho

Bones is a crime drama based on real-life forensic anthropologist Kathy Reichs. The main character, Temperance “Bones” Brennan, is the protagonist from Reichs’ crime novel series. Creator Hart Hanson pitched the idea of a forensic show to FOX. Afterwards he was asked to meet with Executive Producer Barry Josephson who had purchased the rights to produce a documentary on Reichs. After this meeting of the minds, Hanson agreed to sign on and write the pilot episode. This provides the show with a certain level of credibility as Reichs also serves as a producer and is intimately involved in the storylines. A forensic anthropologist studies the human skeleton; therefore, all of the cases involve a victim that is partial or completely skeletonized. Bones has many similarities to other crime dramas such as CSI and Crossing Jordan, but it does offer unique cases and a stellar cast.

Season Two starts with the forensic team at the Jeffersonian Institute, which is loosely based on the Smithsonian Institute, getting a new boss, Dr. Camille Saroyan. Brennan clashes with Saroyan right from the start because she believes that the position should have been hers. Immediately, Saroyan comes off brash and bossy, alienating herself from the group, but at the end of the first episode, she stands up to a prosecutor in defense of her employees and miraculously wins them over.

Bones sets itself apart by investing heavily in personal storylines. David Boreanaz is perfectly cast as Brennan’s partner, Special Agent Seely Booth, the brooding romantic interest. He is believable in the role, and is sexy as hell. A major plotline revolves around the reoccurring role of Brennan’s father, Max, played remarkably well by Ryan O’Neal. He is a career criminal on the run. This causes an internal conflict for our main character. Is her dad a good man or a bad man? Her scientific mind only works in black and white. All of the scientists on the team are overly cerebral with minimal social skills.

There are very few extras offered with the DVD collection. There are two episodes with commentary tracks. Emily Deschanel (Brennan), director Caleb Deschanel and executive producer Stephen Nathan narrate “The Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House”. This is one of the best commentaries I have listened to. They are each able to provide a different perspective and have fun together in the process. Caleb Deschanel has an impressive resume having directed several episodes of the television show Twin Peaks and his cinematography credits include The Black Stallion, The Right Stuff, The Natural, and The Passion of the Christ to name just a few.

The second commentary by series creator Hart Hanson and executive producers Nathan and Barry Josephson is on the season finale, which sets up a few cliffhangers that really didn’t leave me desperate for the premiere of Season Three. This group is able to provide good behind-the-scenes information, but it is a tad boring.

The additional special features include “The Memories in the Season” and “Visceral Effects: The Digital Illusions of Bones.” There is also the standard deleted scenes collection and a gag reel. The gag reel is painful to sit through. There is nothing remotely amusing and the attempt to present the actors in a different light fails miserably.

While I enjoyed watching this season of Bones, there wasn’t enough to make me sit through the show again, so I wouldn’t buy the DVD collection. However, for those who are forensic crime junkies, it certainly holds its own and fills the void between all of the CSI franchises. If you are not already a fan, catch a rerun or rent it first.

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia: Seasons 1 & 2

Written by Musgo Del Jefe

I've always kept the FX Network at arms-length. It seems that every time I committed to them, they went and changed their hairstyle, clothing, and accent so that I could barely recognize them. I first fell in love with the upstart fX (attracted by their clever smaller-case "f"), which promised me "TV Made Fresh Daily" through the mid-‘90s with their live shows centered around an apartment somewhere in New York City. I spent mornings with their unique news show that “Robin & Co.” is still copying today. Towards the end of the ‘90s, they changed their name to FX, cancelled all the quirky live shows that had attracted me in the first place, and quickly became a dumping ground for recent and then current Fox shows.

I adapted and found it sweet that they were the only channel airing M*A*S*H and X-Files repeats. When Major League Baseball playoff games overlapped, FX was there to help out. This move, later copied by MTV/Viacom when they turned The Nashville Network to The National Network and then to Spike, proved initially popular with young men. But as that initial attraction was dying, FX hit on the ideal mix when they took a chance on a graphic original program, The Shield in 2002. I found this little number by accident and fell in love with the network all over again. I was addicted and would forgive them hours of Married With Children repeats for an hour of this brilliance.

FX followed this lightning in a bottle with two other successes in 2003, Nip/Tuck and Rescue Me. Neither made my Tivo, but I respect the quality of these offerings. In June of 2005, they ventured into the world of documentary series (a leap considering the formula for their previous successes in original programming) with the brilliant 30 Days from Morgan Spurlock.

In August of 2005, they would take another leap and try original comedy, calling their two shows "The Dark Side Of Comedy." Both Starved and It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia debuted on August 4, 2005. My Tivo was so full that I felt I could only add one of the two. I bet on red (Starved) and the wheel came up black (Philadelphia). Starved wasn't "The Dark Side;" it was just plain offensive, three men and a woman with eating disorders, and even worse, it wasn't funny. The other show was "Dark," and it also starred three men and a woman, but it had the advantage of being funny. Philadelphia played out for seven episodes that fall of 2005, and was renewed for ten episodes in the summer of 2006. As the third season gets underway, the first two seasons have been released on a three-disc set.

The premise of the series is simple. Mac (Rob McElhenney, creator of the show), his roommate Dennis (Glenn Howerton), and his childhood friend Charlie (Charlie Day) are co-owners of a Philadelphia bar called Paddy's Irish Pub. Their bartender is Mac's twin sister, Sweet Dee (Kaitlin Olson). By the start of the second season, Frank Reynolds (Danny DeVito) joins the cast as the father of Dennis and Dee and as Charlie's roomate (and maybe Charlie's biological dad?). The formula of multiple men and a woman has worked on plenty of comedies, M*A*S*H and Cheers being older examples. But the bar in Philadelphia isn't the same filter that it served in Cheers. Here, the bar serves merely as a plot device in most episodes for our characters to come into contact with new people or as a catalyst, creating a problem that needs to be solved or explored. The writers have chosen a much more current template for their comedy.

In the post-Seinfeld era, more current comedies have tried to copy the Friends model to a much lesser success. Philadelphia has taken the irreverent aspects of Seinfeld to the next two levels. It's not an accident that our lead characters fulfill the base roles that we're comfortable with. Sweet Dee is Elaine with an exaggerated amount of romantic failures. Dennis is the ultra-confident, successful with women, but never effected by the break-ups exaggerated Jerry. Mac is a slightly less ethical version of Kramer that feels a need to compete, and usually lose to, with Dennis for women. Charlie is George taken to a naive extreme. In a Seinfeld-esque moment during Season 1, Charlie lies about having cancer in order to date the waitress at the coffee shop that wears a Lance Armstrong cancer bracelet.

Each episode stands alone. I like the way we usually get little to no back-story before the plot of each episode kicks off. We start with a title card of a time (e.g. "3:15 p.m.) and a day (e.g. "On a Tuesday") as if telling us that we've just turned on the camera because something interesting is going to happen. Like most good comedies, the episodes rarely go down the path that you expect. For example, the first episode, "The Gang Gets Racist" starts out as a story on racism about Dee's new boyfriend but 10 minutes in, it has completely turned into a story about becoming a "Gay Bar." The "Charlie Wants An Abortion" episode, starts with Charlie finding out that he has a child from 10 years ago to one of the funnier moments of the show as Dennis and Mac try to decide which side of an abortion rally is likely to provide them the best dates.

The episodes are consistent. The gang (including DeVito who just blends in from the beginning as if he was always a member of the cast) is always arguing with each other, they are naive (their takes on the War On Terrorism in "The Gang Goes Jihad" is hilarious), they will throw each other under the bus given a chance, they lie about everything, and in great comedic fashion, they never win. Balance is maintained in the world.

The long-term problem for this show may be the same thing that has made the first two seasons so superb. In small doses, this is the perfect summer show. It's about nothing and it's about no one. We don't really like or root for any of the characters to succeed. In fact, we revel in their downfall, because it's so funny (in "Dennis & Dee Go On Welfare", we don't want them to pursue their dreams while on Welfare, we want to see them fail miserably). The episodes, while funny, don't tend to leave me wanting more, like Arrested Development or even Curb Your Enthusiasm. Summer shows don't have to do that; they rest on my Tivo until I need a mindless break. I expect more of a fall show. You're competing against The Office, 30 Rock and even Family Guy. I fear that a show about no one won't last past the key Third Season when it's not so Sunny outside.

Bonus Features. A "Making Of" featurette, outtakes, and two episode commentaries are hardly worth influencing your decision to buy this set. It's a funny show with a good cast that doesn't come with the baggage of having been in other shows or movies, except for DeVito. Other network offerings have set the bar high, with commentaries on most episodes and enough bonus features to fill and extra disc. I like that this set lets the original episodes speak for themselves.

Is this the new FX? No fancy make-up, short sensible hair, smells like strawberries, and just a bit of a "dark" side? If so, I'm in love again.

THE CITY OF VIOLENCE

Written by Fumo Verde

The City of Violence? Have these people been to Detroit?

Sure there were great fight scenes, but they were few and far between to deal with the Soba noodle of a plot you have to bare just to get to the action. Director Seung-Wan artfully captured some of the best fights I’ve seen in a long time and the actors performed in the usual South Korean soap opera style—not over the top, but just pushing that edge. The City of Violence is fun and exciting but not because it has that air of mystery about it. The beauty of this movie lays in the cinematography and how it masterfully caught the fine choreographed moves of the Tae Kwon Do fight scenes.

The story is about five friends who have grown up together and have already come of age, so no boobs, okay. Three of them are hoods, Asian Mafia types, and another becomes a cop. Why and how these guys come to be who they are is not explained. When Wang-jae, the thug gone straight, gets murdered in the back alley of his own bar, it is up to his friends to figure out who did it and why. Within the first five minutes I knew the character that did it, and twenty minutes later we all find out why. The rest of the time is spent on letting Tae-su and Seok-hwan figure out what happened. Once this is discovered its time for to seek revenge.

The best fight scene comes near the beginning. Tae-su and Seok-hwan are confronted with about sixty teenagers dressed in outfits ranging from school girl uniforms to the baseball kids from The Warriors and so on. After our two heroes fight off this motley crew, they must face even tougher battles down the road. When the final battle happens, it is one hell of a fight. Was it worth waiting for? I thought so. Seung-Wan frames the fight movements like his idol, Quentin Tarantino, making the battle look more like a dance than a brawl. Would I consider these “produced fights” Bruce Lee-worthy? On a scale from 1 to 10, I give The City of Violence an 8 for fights and a 2 for plot strength.

The two-disc Ultimate Edition comes with a “how it was made” DVD. I was amazed how long it took and how hard this crew worked on getting these incredible fights right. I wish the writers would have worked on the script as long. The extras include deleted scenes and interviews with the cast and director. I like extras like this, going behind the scenes and finding out how the studios create “lighting in a bottle” as it is sometimes called, or used to be.

The City of Violence was exciting when the fight was on. When it wasn’t, it really didn’t matter. Dragon Dynasty has a lot of good movies; this one was just one of their lower grade ones. If you can rent it for a buck, or better yet, wait till a lazy Sunday afternoon and see if you can catch it on Kung-Fu Theater. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a double feature that includes Master of the Flying Guillotine.

Elvis: That’s The Way It Is (2-Disc Special Edition)

Written by Fantasma el Rey

Elvis: That’s The Way It Is (Two-Disc Special Edition) is a perfect showcase of the way it was when Elvis’ Las Vegas show was fresh and new. This new edition includes two versions of the documentary, the original version and the 2001 release that was re-cut and edited to show more concert footage. Filmed during the King’s first major run at the International Hotel both DVDs capture the power and excitement Elvis possessed in two almost completely different films. What remains the same is the command that Elvis has over his loving audience.

Let’s start with disc two, the documentary as it was originally released in 1970. This version opens with Elvis at rehearsals with the core members of his band, which includes James Burton (guitar), Jerry Scheff (bass) and Ronnie Tutt (drums). We get to see the guys as they practice the songs for the upcoming Vegas run for the very first time. It’s good to see them having fun and goofing around, especially Elvis. We can see he is in charge and the leader of his band. He’s shown making changes, directing and pointing out where people need to be as a song starts.

The scene then moves to Vegas and the vocal groups learning their parts. The Sweet Inspirations (female) and The Imperials Quartet (male) are later joined by Elvis and the band to get it all down and jam a little. There is a quiet moment with Elvis and the girls, where you get a feel for some of his priorities as far as family is concerned. He is playful here, showing his range and playing with the groups to see what they know and what they can do. He is quite fond of his high-pitched Tiny Tim-like vocals and will even use it many times on stage.

From the practice hall we move to the main stage for rehearsals the day before the big event. More fun and laughter ensue this time members of the Memphis mafia are on the loose and adding to the humor. But it is the show itself that takes the documentary over the top.

Elvis is in top form and still in the best shape of his life, at this time it is said that the man had a 32-inch waist. WOW!! He was a six-foot, Karate-trained, lean, mean entertainment machine primed to deliver the best of shows of his career. As the music fills the air, Elvis’ presence fills the screen. He’s calm and appears a bit nervous because most of the night’s numbers are new and he is a bit unsure of how the crowd will respond. Yet as always the fans adore him and the songs go over well, eliminating any questions the king might have had. From start to finish Elvis is cracking jokes, mixing with fans and band members, giving off an overall good time vibe. Elvis paints the picture of an easygoing guy who’s having a ball performing and doing what he loves and does best.

With the original version we really don’t get enough of Elvis. During filming, director Denis Sanders became fascinated with the fan element of Elvis’ career and put much of the focus on them and other irrelevant situations. The fan interviews aren’t all bad; we get to hear from people of all ages and races give their opinion of why big E is such a positive force in the world. Older folks like the fact that he’s a Christian man, while men see him as the essence of quiet cool from look to attitude. People admire the fact that a Southern white boy was strong enough to go head-on and sing back-porch country and blues tunes inspired by poor African Americans. Children are drawn to him as well for reasons I have yet to figure out. Then there are women, young and old, who just love him from head to toe and think that he is the very definition of sexy masculinity.

Many interviews are interesting, such as the editor of Tiger Beat telling of her excitement over Elvis and random fans waxing poetic about how rock ‘n’ roll is nothing without him. We even get to go across the pond to England and then Germany for a European fan fest, where we get to see Elvis’ tandem bike raffled off for charity. The best part here is the Elvis impersonators. Some are good look-a-likes and others are horrid. Some bands are simply there to play rock ‘n’ roll inspired by the King and other rockabilly legends.

Disc one is the redone version of this same Vegas run but the focus has been put back on Elvis. All the fan interviews and “talking heads” have been removed and replaced with more Elvis footage. The basic chain of events is the same but Special Edition producer Rick Schmidlin looked all over the Warner Brothers vaults for every frame of footage that he could find. Armed with this new material, he put together “The ultimate Elvis performance.” We get to see more of the personal side of Elvis, being himself and interacting with people not in his everyday entourage.

Many good tunes and footage where left out of the 1970 release and are now being seen for the first time. A few of the songs in the 2001 release are different versions from the original, as the overall footage is from six separate shows. Songs from the early days, “Mystery Train,” “All Shook Up,” “Hound Dog,” and “Blue Suede Shoes” are reworked with fury and mixed with new tunes like “Suspicious Minds,” “ I Just Can’t Help Believing,” and “Polk Salad Annie.”

The new tunes reflect the recent R&B sounds of Memphis with soaring horns and heavy, funky bass. “Patch It Up” is a new song that sends the crowd and Elvis into a frenzy. The people are dancing and grooving right along with their king. Elvis’ dancing isn’t all choreographed, like the hyper gyrations of today’s pop idols; his moves have feeling and are driven by the connection with the song he is singing. It’s awesome to see him playing with the vocal groups during a song and then spin back into place as the bridge closes out.

What makes the new version better is the fact that Elvis is center of attention and that’s who we want to see and hear. Maybe back in ‘70s Sanders’ idea of the fans worked because Elvis still walked among us and being able to see him live wasn’t wishful thinking. For today’s fan Elvis is the attraction not what the Hotel staff was doing to prepare or the stress on the promoter. Don’t get me wrong these things interest me too, but to see Elvis at the top of his game is something that simply stirs my soul.

Much of the material on these DVDs can be found on the Elvis: Viva Las Vegas CD that was recently released and his original albums On Stage and the three-disc edition of the soundtrack to the film, That’s The Way It Is.

Grey’s Anatomy: Season 3 Seriously Extended

Written by Senora Bicho

The 2007 fall television lineup starts soon and the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy is on the top of my list, so when the Season 3 Seriously Extended DVD collection arrived, I was ready to dive in for a refresher. I thoroughly enjoyed this season and think it is some of the best writing out there, although I did not think it was as intense or compelling as Season 2. However, Season 3 does deliver in continuing the overriding theme of tortured love.

For those of you not familiar with the show, Grey’s Anatomy follows the trials and tribulations of Meredith Grey, a surgical intern at Seattle Grace Hospital. Our beloved characters survived a lot in season 3: careers moving forward and backward, the destruction of key relationships that have been fostered throughout the entire series, and many deaths, of which the most profound and bold was that of Meredith. When I first heard about this, the idea sounded poorly conceived, but it was thought provoking and very well executed.

This show is not just another medical drama. What makes it different is the amazing depth and personality of each character. The writing also helps to create a bond with the viewer. You feel connected to these people and care what happens to them. Even the characters you don’t like, you come to understand and respect. Dr. McSteamy, played by Eric Dane, joined the cast as a regular and is a prime example. He burst onto the scene as an arrogant, sexist jerk. It was great watching his character, learning what makes him tick. The storylines, while overly dramatic and extremely intense, parallel experiences in everyday life. The narration, provided by Meredith in every episode, always manages to hit home at some level.

One of the main storylines of the season was the disfigured Jane Doe character and her relationship with Dr. Karev (Justin Chambers). I was not particularly fond of this storyline. I felt it was trying to replicate the Izzie and Denny relationship without the intensity or real connection. One of the extras is a behind the scenes look at the making of Jane Doe. This was well done and provided more depth to the character and the storyline, making me want to watch it again.

Along with all of the episodes from the season, the set includes some fun extras. There are four extended episodes, and if you are like me and don’t recognize the new material, you will be happy to find a collection of all of the season’s unaired scenes. There are some good moments that provide interesting background, but for the most part it is clear why they were deleted.

There are also some episodes with audio commentary. Chandra Wilson and Kate Walsh cover Episode 1 and it is just like watching the show with your close girlfriends as they giggle their way through it. Ellen Pompeo and Kate Burton discuss episode 14 and it is wonderful to hear their thoughts on their mother-daughter relationship on the show along with their other thoughts and insights. Sandra Oh is the last commentary in episode 21. It would have more compelling if she was with someone else to bounce ideas off of but she does provide some interesting information. The other bonus features include a goofy day at the track with Patrick Dempsey (he races in his free time), and a much better featurette on Pompeo and her character. Last, but not least, there is the usual favorite character scenes and outtakes; nothing particularly engrossing here.

This was a significant season for the series. It moved from Sunday night behind Desperate Housewives against the powerhouse CSI on Thursdays. It was doing well in the ratings, even surpassing Housewives, so ABC decided to make it an anchor show on its own night. It did extremely well and held its own in its new timeslot.

There was quite a bit of drama off screen with Isaiah Washington’s inappropriate comments, which led to his eventual dismissal after the season’s end. He was a critical part of the show and I am sorry to see him go.

We will also be losing Walsh to the Private Practice spin-off. We had to endure a taste of that show through an extended episode. I had high expectations of this new show. With the ensemble cast of Tim Daly, Amy Brenneman, and Taye Diggs paired up with the creative mind behind Grey’s Anatomy, how could it be anything but great? Unfortunately, it was far from it. The situations were contrived and completely unbelievable. I love Walsh's character because she has such a strong personality that allows her to hold her own against all of the male egos. In Private Practice she is a whimpering, pathetic shell of the woman we have come to know and love. If the partial pilot episode is any indication of the show’s future, it will be cancelled quickly and Walsh will return. I certainly hope so anyways.

All in all I enjoyed the DVD collection and it did get me even more excited for Season 4. If you loved the season, it will be a necessary addition to your collection sitting beside Season 1 and Season 2. So go out and get it before the season premiere. Seriously.

THE DARWIN AWARDS

Written by Fumo Verde

These awards have been posthumously given out since 1991 and there is a book of all the “winners.” Many take offense to those who make light of the premature death of others, but if you think about it, some of these clownshoes had it coming. Director Finn Taylor not only makes light, he makes you laugh. This movie weaves together true and false claims about past award recipients with the backdrop of romance in the insurance industry. Starring Joseph Fiennes as an ex-profiling expert with the SFPD who joins Winona Ryder, the claims adjuster for a major insurance company, they are out not to save the world but to save the company money.

Fiennes does a wonderful job of an anal-retentive police profiler who passes out at the sight of blood. He lets a killer go in the beginning then tracks his movements through out the movie. After losing a wanted serial killer, Fiennes tries to get a job with an insurance company. Enter Ryder who has seen it all during her travels and has ice water for blood. She has told starving mothers that their claims have been denied with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye, but this shit is getting to her. They are accompanied by a cast that includes David Arquette, Juliette Lewis, Wilmer Valderrama, and Metallica to name few.

I liked the idea of this movie but I found myself laughing mainly at the actions that bring about the untimely deaths of the awardees. The plot surrounding these weird deaths falls short, leaving you wanting to see more crazy ways people have accidentally killed themselves. It would have been nice to dig a little deeper into the workings of the insurance industry and to see why they deny all claims to everyone right off the bat. Anything would have been better than boy meets girl and falls in love as he catches the bad guy while helping poor insurance companies revoke claims due to the stupidity of the deceased. And let’s be honest here, some of the accidents are real award winners while others are urban legends, to find out which are real and which urban legends one will have to visit the award’s website.

It was a fun movie but I’m glad I didn’t pay ten bucks to see it in the theater. See this on cable or rent it for a dollar if you can. Quirky and sick, but that kind of sick where you know you have a shit-eating grin on your face, and you still won’t wipe it off.

BALLS OF FURY

Written by Hombre Divertido

Balls of Fury is the greatest ping-pong movie ever made!

In a movie that easily could have been called Balls of Glory, Dan Fogler takes the Ferrell role as Randy Daytona, a once great Olympian who became an outcast after an embarrassing incident at the Olympics. Sound familiar? What if I throw in Jim Lampley as the commentator?

Picking up the action years later; Daytona is now a cheap ping-pong lounge act. Yes, you read that right. The FBI recruit him to infiltrate the underground world of Ping Pong in order to help capture the evil Feng (Christopher Walken).

George Lopez plays the FBI agent who takes Daytona to the local Ping Pong guru: Master Wong (James Hong), so that he and his daughter Maggie (Maggie Q) can whip Daytona into shape. Maggie is an amazing ping-pong player, and one might wonder why she was not recruited for the mission instead of Daytona since the FBI obviously had access to her, but this is no movie in which you should be thinking.

Fogler plays the character with more subtle innocence than a Farrell creation, and Hong has some wonderful moments, but the rest of the cast just seems like they owed someone a favor or had a mortgage payment due.

The film actually opens with some solid laughs as it manages to spoof numerous other films, but gets bogged down and repetitive about 40 minutes in. Lopez hangs around waiting to do his Scarface impression, and Walken is wasted. Though it has a ninety-minute run time, the last ten minutes amazingly look as if the writers knew the story was over and that the film was too short, so they came up with a couple more gags.

Like Blades of Glory, this film has some solid laughs, but just not enough to justify the price of admission.

Recommendation: Wait for it to come out on DVD; then wait some more cuz it will be on Comedy Central soon after.

KICKIN' IT OLD SCHOOL

Written by Musgo Del Jefe

The synopsis for Kickin' It Old Skool is pretty simple. Twelve-year-old, Justin, goes into a coma while breakdancing in 1986 and wakes up 20 years later in 2006. And wackiness ensues. That actually took less than nine minutes of the movie to set in motion. With clever editing, I could've set the conflict in motion before the first commercial break (Justin must enter dance contest to pay his parents back and win over long lost girlfriend). A few montages later, I could've been to the final dance contest by minute twenty and twenty-four minutes into the movie, I'd have the predictable conclusion to the contest and life back to normal. And there you'd have a typical CW show. One starring many of the actors that you'll see in this movie.

I figured this plot to be more along the lines of Blast From The Past (1999) - naive man from a simpler time finds love by representing a fresh difference to the mores of the current times. But what I got was a very poor man's Big. But I'll get back to that.

The first title tells us that it's April 20, 1986. Unfortunately, the director relies on generic '80s references that place this film somewhere much earlier in the '80s. In fact, it's such a mishmash of cultural clues, that had I not been told, I'd have a hard time to not guess 1983. I don't know when the director, Harvey Glazer, was born but Jamie Kennedy (Justin) was in his teens in this period and should've spoken up. We start the first scene with "Rapper's Delight" from 1980 and Justin wearing a Michael Jackson jacket from 1983. In the course of the first scene at the talent show we get references to Flashdance (1983), Smurfs, Blue Lagoon (1980), and Garbage Pail Kids Series 2 (1985). There's even a mention of Betamax (essentially dead to the world by 1984).

Justin and his friends (The Funky Fresh Boys) are performing at the school talent show. What do these hip twelve-year-olds choose to dance to? Is it some of the important hip hop of the era like Erik B & Rakim's "Eric B. Is President" or Run DMC's "My Addidas"? Maybe MC Lyte's "Cram To Understand" or the funky Doug E. Fresh's "The Show"? Nope. We get the predictably safe Herbie Hancock tune, "Rock-It" (1983). The fact that there's so much good music from this time period that could've been featured and was overlooked is symptomatic of the short cuts taken by the director and writers.

Once Justin awakes from his coma, we are quickly given the "clue" that this film is another Big (remarkably the debut for Debra Jo Rupp who plays Justin's mother here). How do we know? Because 32-year-old Justin is chewing Big League Chew. Get it Big League Chew. It doesn't get any more clever after that. While Tom Hanks worked his Josh character to perfection by employing the simplicity of the 13-year-old's point of view to the adult world, Justin does not apply his 12-year-old, 80's point of view to the world. Josh enjoys the adult world. Justin is only confused and perplexed. When Justin has a perfect chance to point out some of the ways we've changed since the '80s, what does he pick? Two of the most tired references - Star Wars and MTV - and he doesn't even add any commentary other than to point out that it's changed.

Twenty minutes into the film, we change directions slightly. Justin needs to "get the boys back together" to win a dance-off to pay back his parents. Our Blues Brothers quest takes less than twenty minutes and doesn't really meet any resistance. Darnell (the African-American member) needs money to buy diapers and please his bitchy wife. Hector (the Hispanic member) needs to lose weight. Aki (the Asian member) needs? Well, we're not really sure why Aki rejoins and Hector's reason is also a bit of a reach. But don't worry about character motivation here - it won't pay off in the end, anyway.

Justin encounters his beautiful old love interest, Jen (Maria Menounos), who's currently dating his old rival, Kip (Michael Rosenbaum), who comes across as evil Lex Luthor trying out for a lead role in the Derek Jeter story. Kip hosts the show that is sponsoring the dance contest, and of course, he does his underhanded best to sabotage Justin's chances.

Love blossoms, the Funky Fresh Boys find their groove (montage scene), innocence is lost (thank you for clueing me in Mr. Mister's "Broken Wings"), and no lessons are learned based on the 12-year-old innocence from the '80s. In fact, his 12-year-old persepctive only serves to get in his way (taking Ecstasy at the club - explained only in the deleted scenes). There's a dance contest to finish and I'll give the writers two things: we get to hear "The Real Roxanne" (at least it's from the right era), and they at least bother to tie in the failure at the talent contest in the beginning to the finals of the dance contest at the end.

A boy trapped in a man's body is fodder for many Hollywood films. Big took the innocence of the boy and viewed our world through that prism. Kickin' It Old Skool wastes that chance. Why does Tom Hanks eating the food at the fancy dinner party work and seeing Jaime Kennedy at Chuck E. Cheese's doesn't? It's the heart. It's the ache you feel when you realize what you've lost since those days. There is not wonderment here, only confusion.

Special Features: Imagine my surprise to find 29 minutes of deleted scenes. While many of them are true throwaways, one explained a very important event. We were led to believe that Justin drank only a Red Bull and became sweaty and incoherent at the club. In the deleted scene we see that he took an extraordinary amount of Ecstasy too. That event and his experiences were perfect fodder to contrast his innocence with the cruelty of Kip, his rival. The other small scene has him at a loss for words, finally quoting the Facts Of Life theme. That would later inform his quoting the Diff'rent Strokes theme song to his parents at the end of the film. "Everybody's got some special kind of story." Not so much.

MR. BEAN'S HOLIDAY

Written by Hombre Divertido

Generally, there are two types of people in the world. Those that like Mr. Bean and those that don’t. Considering that Mr. Bean’s Holiday had made 188 Million internationally before being released in the U. S., it really didn’t matter which group it fell upon here.

The pratfalls and antics of Bean (Rowan Atkinson) work well in the brief and simple scenarios of the popular British television show, but his first outing; the 1997 motion picture Bean, had far too convoluted of a story to support the comedy of Bean. Though this effort has a far more simple premise, it appears that the writers took a holiday from writing gags for our talented actor.

Atkinson, who is aging gracefully and still posses the rubber face and athletic ability to pull off the expressions, gestures, and pratfalls that make up all that is Bean, finds his character on his way to Cannes for a vacation. Along the way, he misses a train, causes the separation of a man and his son, attempts to assist the son in finding his dad, losses all his money and passport, and interrupts the filming of a movie. Oh, if only he had interrupted the filming of this one with the same type of humorous effort.

There are some nice moments in this film, just not enough. One should always be concerned when a scene from the commercials does not show up in the film, as is the case here, and at a running time of eighty eight minutes, one must wonder how they felt that anything remotely funny could be left out. Too much was left out, and the final product is just unsatisfying.

Recommendation: The DVD of the televisions series would be a better investment of your time and money if you really want to experience Mr. Bean. If you are intent on seeing a motion picture featuring Rowan Atkinson, go with Rat Race or Johnny English. No awards to be given to those two efforts, but far more fun than Mr. Bean’s Holiday.

Joe Satriani: Surfing with the Alien - Legacy Edition

Written by Fumo Verde

I learned to surf in 1987, which was the same year I picked up a cassette of Surfing with the Alien and within the first thirty seconds of listening to it I was hooked. I’ve been surfing ever since and have listened to the album from time to time until my truck’s tape player ate my Workingman’s Dead, so when I got a chance to review the new digitally re-mastered CD, along with a DVD of Satriani performing at the Montreux Jazz Festival, I was super stoked.

Satriani has had a major influence on young guitarists around the world. Not only a great player of the guitar, he also teaches. His students have included Kirk Hammett of Metallica and Steve Vai. Surfing with the Alien has been called the quintessential guitar rock album of the ‘80s and for anyone interested in playing guitar they should pick this Legacy Edition and just listen, watch, and learn. Joe Satriani is a master musician and his one true passion is creating music with his guitar.

The title track opens up with rocket-like fury, as Satriani blasts off into the waves of the universe, dropping in deeper, carving harder, and getting shacked into tubes of cosmic forces. Contrast that with “Always with Me, Always with You” where Satriani slows it down as he lets the notes do the singing. This jam takes you away to a remote tropical island with sandy white beaches and intense colored sunsets. Next up is “Satch Boogie,” a jazzy jam that brings Satriani’s talents of his former teachers into play. He learned from some of the best, including jazz guitar great Billy Bauer and legendary pianist Lennie Tristano. The hard work and ceaseless enthusiasm Satriani brings to his art can be heard throughout Surfing with the Alien but to get a real idea of what he can do, you need to watch the DVD.

Part two of the Legacy Edition contains previously unreleased concert footage of from the Montreux Jazz Festival in Montreux, Switzerland from July 1988. The show is great and the camera work is top of the line, getting in close to see the amazing finger work Satriani lays down. He plays seven tracks off the album, including “Always with You, Always with Me,” “Echo,” “Ice 9,” and “Lords of Karma.” The show also includes a sweet bass solo along with the jams “Hordes of Locusts” and “Rubina,” and a very funny interview conducted by Spinal Tap guitarist Nigel Tufnel, who now has an amplifier that can go up to infinity. The liner notes are good, with pictures of Satriani in studio and on tour, and he gives explanations of how each song came about.

Joe Satriani cares about his fans and if you ask any of his students they will tell you the same. His music comes from the heart and as you watch him on stage, like his idol Jimi Hendrix, the soul and life of each note when played is echoed in his body movements and facial expressions. This is a great set for those of us who love the sound of the electric guitar. Listening to him play or seeing him live is like watching Jerry Lopez ride Pipe, a true master in his element. As soon as I save up enough cash, I’m getting one of those water-proof MP3 players and Joe Satriani is going surfing with this alien.