BEDTIME STORIES (2008)

Bedtime stories are great for kids, and good ones can be fun for adults, but Adam Sandler’s new film Bedtime Stories offers little for either.

Sandler had nowhere to go but up after the summer disaster that was You Don't Mess with the Zohan, and this is certainly a far more enjoyable film, but that isn’t saying much as Zohan is sure to appear on many “Worst of 2008” lists. Bedtime Stories isn’t a bad film, and there is enough (barely) to keep young children entertained, but the writing is far too forced and predictable for adults, and when the stories come to life, they lack the energy and visual impressiveness that we know Disney is capable of.

While babysitting his niece Bobbi (Laura Ann Kesling) and nephew Patrick (Jonathan Morgan Heit), hotel handyman Skeeter (Sandler) realizes that any addition by the kids to the bedtime stories he is crafting for them, actually come true the next day. Skeeter attempts to use this new power to finally get the job he has always wanted. Unfortunately the writing Bedtime Stories breaks down as attempts to justify the additions to the next day’s developments are forced upon the audience with little success.

Sandler manages to give us enough of his standard character to make Skeeter endearing without alienating the young Disney audience, and he is surrounded by a talented but underutilized cast, but there is little range for them to show with the script provided. Keri Russell plays the convenient and obvious love interest. Russell Brand is the comedic sidekick whose reason for being in the film is only less clear than that of the kids’ pet guinea pig Bugsy (Rodent), who possesses digitally enhanced Marty Feldman eyes, and seems to add nothing to the film other than to give kids something to laugh at, like someone making faces at a baby. Courtney Cox, who looks unhealthily thin, plays a Monica-esque sister to Skeeter and Guy Pearce is the stiff antagonist.

So the concept and cast are good, but the execution seems to have been too much for screenwriter Matt Lopez and director Adam Shankman. Perhaps putting more effort into making the visualization of the stories cinematically attractive, and providing the cast with characters that posses some dimension, and less time trying to figure out how to justify the ridiculous plot points thrown in by the children, would have made for an all-around more enjoyable film for the entire family.

Recommendation: This has DVD rental written all over it. There is nothing here for adults, and the visual effects are not worthy of a “see it on the big screen” endorsement.

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN

Written by Hombre Divertido

You can mess with the Zohan all you want, but under no circumstances should you ever pay money or spend time on this film.

In my review of Leatherheads I had touted it as the worst movie of the year. Zohan makes Leatherheads look Oscar-worthy. How the brilliant comedic minds of writers Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel, and Judd Apatow were able to take such a ripe premise, and spend 113 minutes yielding so few laughs, is in itself quite amazing.

In this disaster Sandler plays the Zohan, a superhuman commando who longs to leave the Middle East for peaceful life in the U.S. as a hair stylist. In a battle with his arch nemesis The Phantom (John Turturro, who continues to take roles that distance himself from a career as an actor), the Zohan manages to fake his death and make his way to America where he does indeed become a hair stylist and more.

There is little else here. The cast is talented, but even the usually funny Rob Schneider is left to chew scenery. Some of the bits would not work regardless as they just go on too long. The scene in which the Zohan is attempting to prove himself at the salon by insuring that no hair ends up on the floor is a perfect example. It is smile-worthy, but is completely overdone. Director Dennis Dugan, whose credits primarily consist of Sandler vehicles or productions, appears to be completely in over his head here, though the ultimate blame has to go to the writers. This material simply isn’t funny.

There are some interesting casting choices as well. Michael Buffer as the rich American trying to tear down the neighborhood where the Zohan now resides has the audience waiting for a “Let’s Get Ready To Crum-ble!” in reference to his career. It is equally disturbing seeing John McEnroe dance with his shirt off, and Mrs. Garrett (Charlotte Rae) from The Facts of Life in a stage of undress. They did manage to make Chris Rock look unfunny, Mariah Carey look stiffer than usual, and give Barry (Ernie from My Three Sons) Livingston a nice role.

On the bright side; the cinematography is pleasant to look at, and the soundtrack is fun.

Young kids may find the physical antics of the Zohan amusing; unfortunately the crude and sexual content should preclude their attendance.

Recommendation: No, No, No! Being tied up and forced to watch Billy Madison and Mr. Deeds on TBS would be more enjoyable than messing with the Zohan again.