HUMAN LANTERNS

Written by Puño Estupendo

It's pretty rare, but every so often I see an older movie that I didn't know anything about, and then immediately ask, "Where the hell has this been my whole life?!" I am very pleased to announce that Human Lanterns is one of those movies.

I make no secret about the fact that I get down right giddy every time I see the Shawscope logo pop up before a film. It doesn't mean that the film is going to be good, but I'm just a huge fan of the genre, and the Shaw Brothers studio is almost on par with England's Hammer Studios as far as I'm concerned. It's no coincidence that the two companies worked together at one point, but that's for another time.

Human Lanterns has carried a rep about itself, kind of an infamy. I've always read mention of it here and there but no copy was ever to be found. All the tales about it being a kung-fu/horror movie (and just slightly crazy) have had me curious about it for a long time. It mixes genres very well, much better than others that have tried. It's definitely a kung-fu flick with period costumes, clangy swords, and swoosh sound effects, but here's the rub: they decided to throw a serial killer into it.

Two of a village's upper class are constantly trying to outdo each other. Lung and Tan seem to have everything you can have except for self control when the other is around. Both are obnoxious, but both are likable enough as well. During an argument the two are having during a big social to-do, there's mention of the annual lantern contest, and both vow to rub the other's face in it after they've won. To help insure his victory by having the most bad-assed lantern the village has ever seen, Lung starts a series of events that will eventually bring horror upon everyone involved (including himself). A madman starts playing the two against each other, all the while perfecting the art of making lanterns from the skin of the women closest to Tan and Lung.

I fucking loved it!

Don't let the age of this film fool you. Though it came out in 1982 and looks like a normal kung-fu movie on the outside, this is definitely a nasty piece of work. It's very exploitive in ways that I'm not used to seeing from Shaw Studios. Director Sun Chung doesn't shy away from the nastiness at all. The actions in this movie are mean, with scenes of women having their skin removed and even a rape, the latter of which was really jarring. Not because of its graphic nature (because it's not very graphic), but because it was in there in the first place. Usually such a thing is only insinuated in the world of kung-fu and so I was kind of shocked with what he showed on screen. But Sun Chung gives fans of exploitation cinema something very rare here, he gives them a wonderfully twisted tale, full of blood and fighting, but he delivers the goods on the look as well.

The colors in Human Lanterns are fantastic. The cinematography gives the film a real thick texture which reminded me (once again) of the Hammer Films. This makes for the one-two punch as far as I'm concerned, and this one is joining my collection as a "must show" to friends that enjoy cult cinema.

STEP BROTHERS

Written by Hombre Divertido

Perhaps Tropic Thunder will be the comedic hit of the summer; Step Brothers certainly isn’t.

Oh, Step Brothers is funny. The script is shallow, and the characters underdeveloped, but enough comedy is generated by witnessing how many different ways the talented duo of Will Farrell and John C. Riley can drop the F-bomb to warrant a viewing for those looking for comedy in what has been a bleak summer. There is enough profanity in this film to spawn a drinking game. Like a drinking game, Step Brothers will leave you wondering the next morning as to what you thought was so funny during the experience the night before, but, for whatever reason, you will laugh as the game is being played.

Written by Farrell and director Adam McKay who first paired Farrell and Riley in Talladega Nights, Step Brothers chronicles the story of two middle-aged losers who still live at home. The “boys” are brought together when the mother of Brennan (Farrell) played by the versatile Mary Steenburgen marries the father of Dale (Reilly) played by Richard Jenkins and they all move under one roof. The movie has consistent success as the two lead characters hate each other and are tormented by Derek (Adam Scott in a one-dimensional but funny performance) the successful younger brother of Brennan.

As attempts are made to progress the plot, the laughs are left behind, and more outrageous characters are introduced in attempts to salvage the final thirty minutes of this ninety-five minute outing. The two main characters eventually make a completely muddled transition to adulthood and manage to squelch the laughs with the premise of the film in one fell swoop.

McKay proves he is a far better director than writer as he manages to glean enough laughs from the profanity and physical antics worthy of The Three Stooges found in a script that is nothing more than a weak idea that might make a decent Saturday Night Live sketch.

Recommendation: The laughs here are far cheaper than the price of a movie ticket, but there are laughs to be found, and one could certainly do worse this summer. You won’t remember much of what you thought was so funny when you saw it, so enjoy what you can when you do.

Johnny Cash: The Man, His World, His Music

Written by Fantasma el Rey

The award-winning PBS documentary series P.O.V., now in its 21st season, will proudly present Johnny Cash: The Man, His World, His Music on Tuesday August 5th. This rarely seen gem by Bob Elfstrom was filmed in 1968-69 while Johnny Cash was at one of the highest points of his career. Bob and his crew, consisting of “My camera, my sound recordist Alan Dater,” were able to capture the Man In Black drug free and in good spirits as he works, relaxes at home and reminisces with old friends. The film blends live performances and scenes of everyday life very well.

Today, Johnny’s overall life and exploits are well known, from his youth in the cotton fields of Dyess, Arkansas to his days at Sun Records, his marriage to June Carter and his reemergence as a musical outlaw legend. Elfstrom’s film covers a bit of Johnny’s past in his own words but is a portrait of the man at that one moment in time and his career when the sky was the limit and the future was as bright as June’s smile. The live At Folsom Prison album was his biggest-selling record and he was riding its wave, one that would see more hit songs and a television show that would run for 58 episodes from 1969-71. But that is in the future and the Johnny of Elfstrom’s film isn’t concerned about that; he’s living well and doing what he loves with the people he loves and that’s what matters.

Johnny seems comfortable with the camera as it follows him from place to place, the tour bus, the stage, and home. We get see him perform at a prison near Christmas time and at a Native American Indian reservation close to the Wounded Knee massacre site. He and June joke and interact with the inmates, composed mostly of young greasy-haired hoods and depression-era men, making them roar with cheer and laughter, and then they tour the Wounded Knee site with a grandson of one of its victims and a tribal elder dressed in traditional ceremonial attire as guides. The viewer is also present as Johnny receives his award for Album of the Year at the Country Music Awards for At Folsom Prison.

Yet the moments that are best are those of Johnny with the folks that he loves best and holds most dear: June, his family, and his friends. Whether its on the tour bus driving to a show and talking youth and cotton picking with rockabilly king Carl Perkins or sitting at home with June picking his guitar and talking about recently written songs and country music, he holds your attention. Johnny has that gift of making people listen when he talks and it’s through those talks that we get glimpse of his life and beliefs and how they shape his music.

Through the camera’s eye we follow Johnny back stage at shows where he talks with fans of all ages and young musicians hoping to make a go at country music. We are there as Johnny and a gum-chewing Bob Dylan record “One Too Many Mornings” as Dylan works on his Nashville Skyline album. We even get to go along as Johnny, June, and his sister Louise visit the Cash family home in Dyess and recall what it was like to live there and how Mom and Daddy (Carrie and Ray) made ends meet.

Throughout the documentary the music of Johnny Cash fills our ears and our heart as he tells the story behind some of his songs (“Big Foot”) and explains the meaning of others (“Great Speckled Bird”) or playing in the background of scenes (“Cisco Clifton’s Filling Station”). Additional songs performed and used in the film include “Ring Of Fire,” “Daddy Sang Bass,” “Land Of Israel,” “Jackson” (with June), “Orange Blossom Special,” “Busted,” “Big River,” “The Long Black Veil,” and of course “Folsom Prison Blues.”

Bob Elfstrom has done a magnificent job in preserving and documenting this moment in time and the life of a legend. In subtle ways we get the story of Johnny’s life in his own words as he saw it. We can see, hear, and understand why the world and his family love him as much as they do. You don’t have to be a die-hard Johnny Cash fan to appreciate what Elfstrom has given us by truly bringing to life Johnny Cash: The Man, His World, His Music. It’s easy to see why P.O.V. would choose this film to air on their series. Check your local listing to catch the point of view of Johnny Cash in 1969.

a/k/a TOMMY CHONG

Written by Fumo Verde

This is a documentary about how our government, in this case George W. Bush’s judicial branch, screwed Tommy Chong. Yes, screwed. Director Josh Gilbert takes us on a fascinating tour of this bodily invasion, providing us with unbelievable details about how Bush’s court systems works and how Tommy used his legal woes to his comic advantage. You almost feel bad laughing knowing that he ends up doing time, but his comic genius cannot be suppressed, nor will his spirit be beat down. Stoner nation, this is a must see for us so we can learn the truth about what happened to one of the icons of our culture.

So what happened? In 2003 the U.S. Justice Dept. decided to add a little more to the cost for The War on Drugs with another cool 12 million by coming up with Operation Pipe Dreams. Attorney General John Ashcroft must have thought this sounded like a movie that Tommy would be perfect for, so he brought in U.S. Attorney Mary Beth Buchanan to get him to take the lead role. Like a Canadian Mountie, Buchanan always gets her stoner, which isn’t really hard to do, just follow the green haze along with the smell of skunk and the flicking of Bics and boom, there we are.

Call them water pipes if you must, but we all know a bong when we see one. There are a few states which won’t let you ship bongs into their state, such as Pennsylvania, so if you make bongs and someone calls you from there, and you ship the bongs to that person it is illegal. Chong Glass knew the laws and if you watch you will hear them telling the customer on numerous recorded phone conversations, “Sorry sir, it is a federal offense to ship to your state, so we cannot do this.” The customer, a DEA agent or maybe an agent form the Federal Bureau of Intimidation, was persistent and even offered to pick up his product. The transaction went through and the product was ready for pick up, but the Pennsylvania customer never showed. This bogged down the production line so Chong Glass was forced to ship them. This trap, along with Operation Headhunter cost the tax payers around $12 million and caught 55 glass dealers, yet only one was sentenced to prison. Can you guess who it was?

Tommy’s case never went to trial due to the threat of incarceration to Shelby and Paris Chong, his wife and son. He copped a plea but was promised there would be no jail time yet served nine months. He chided on a radio show one day, “The only weapons of mass destruction the Bush administration ever found were my bongs.”

Gilbert turns this sad and blatant use of the law into a comical but scary documentary showing us that our government, no matter who is in charge, will take you down if they want to. Archival footage of Chong with Cheech on stage and in radio interviews from back in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s gives the film a backdrop adding color and body to the story. From pre-jail Tommy to post-jail and a little bit beyond, Gilbert takes us through the whole spectrum of events. All of this is pieced together with bits of Tommy doing some stand-up, and why not since he has some new material now. If a person had never heard of Cheech and Chong and saw this film, they would understand what was going on; you can’t get lost on this, even after a massive rip of a five-footer. As for the extras on this DVD, there’s a “night before” home video of the Chong family and a special something of which I really don’t want to give.

a/k/a Tommy Chong is funny and you will laugh but at the same time one must think our government, especially this administration, was way out of line here, but then again they acquaint pot smoking with terrorism. “If you smoke pot, you are aiding the terrorists” was the mantra after 9/11 but Stoner Nation isn’t as stupid as this administration. What happened to Tommy was bullshit just as are the raids on the medical distributor shops out here in California. The war on drugs is a lost cause and trying to scare us by locking up Tommy didn’t help.

If anything it has motivated Stoner Nation to get off the couch and help fight the war on weed, somewhat. This film is a voice to that cause and Tommy is one of the flag bearers. This film is a wake up call to Stoner Nation and a watch your ass call to Woody Haralson, either way if you hear strange knock at the door, lock it and yell back “Dave’s not here!”

The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet: Best of Ricky and Dave

Written by Hombre Divertido

Sometimes when someone does something so well, and makes it look simple, the accomplishment is not given its due.

Ozzie Nelson was a brilliant man who took a successful radio show and brought it to television where it became one of the longest-running series in the history of the medium. Ozzie produced and directed the show and also contributed to the scripts while the mode of communication was in its infancy. He was not only one of the forefathers of the family sit-com, but of reality television as well.

Yes this was a television show, but one that chronicled the lives of the Nelson family as well. Ozzie bought his entire family to television, allowed them to play themselves, in stories based on actual family events, told on a set that was fashioned after their own home. The family chemistry was real, the stories were simple, and are as enjoyable to watch today as they were when they ran on ABC from 1952 to 1966.

Shout Factory has released a four-disk set which includes twenty-four episodes of the groundbreaking series. Entitled Best of Ricky and Dave, these episodes focus on the two sons of Ozzie and Harriet, who grew up over the fourteen-year run of the show for all America to see. The stories posses a charisma, the laughs are solid, and the production value was far ahead of its time. The fact that these shows still stand-up today are a testament to the brilliance of the senior Nelson.

It continues to be amazing as to how Ozzie was able to allow the show to develop as his family did. When the boys married the real life wives were added to the cast, and proved to be talented actresses. Along with the performances of the talented cast, there are plenty of guest stars to look for including Tuesday Weld, Stanley and Barry Livingston in pre-My Three Sons performances, and Richard Correll who would later to go on to appear on Leave it to Beaver, to name a few.

Why the series is not being released in the customary season-by-season format is a legitimate question, but does not take away from the quality of this set. The bonus material is both entertaining and educational. Not only are there a dozen singing performances by Ricky Nelson, but also classic episodes form the radio show. The trivia game is overly simplistic, but having a bonus radio episode as the prize for a perfect score is a novel idea.

Though more episodes with the boys from the first two seasons where Ricky displays comic timing beyond his years would have made this set more enjoyable, and the dropping of such episodes as “The Tangled Web” which only featured a brief appearance by Dave and Rick certainly would have allowed for more title-appropriate material to be included in the set, there is certainly enough quality material to make this set worth owning.

The storylines in these shows may have a familiarity to them, as they served as the basis for many similar plot lines in family comedies for years to come.

Recommendation: This is classic television as its best, and makes for good family entertainment today. This is a talented family that deserves far more recognition when the innovators of the industry are discussed. An entertaining and educational set that should be included in all classic television collections.

TAI CHI MASTER

Written by Puño Estupendo

Even if you're not a fan of martial arts movies, you've probably seen the work of Yuen Woo-Ping at some point or another. As an action choreographer/director, he's contributed to all of your favorite scenes from films like Kill Bill: Vol. 1 & 2 and the entire Matrix Trilogy. As a director in his own right, he has close to thirty films under his belt, including Iron Monkey 2 (which I'm a big fan of) starring the always impressive Donnie Yen.

Tai Chi Master is a less impressive film of his from 1993, but it has quite an impressive cast nonetheless, including stars Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh. Though audiences are now fairly familiar with Jet Li through his more than forgettable American flicks like Cradle 2 The Grave or Romeo Must Die, this is Jet Li in his more natural setting, a movie from Hong Kong.

Even with the story being really predictable and very formulaic, it still hits all of the beats to make it just as fun as any other "kung-fu" movie from pre-CGI days. It's a little cleaner looking but it has the same feel and angles of classic martial arts films from the '70s and '80s, giving you all of the pitfalls of an unoriginal plot, but all of the fun in crazy camera angles and awesomely choreographed fight scenes.

Beginning in a Shaolin temple, two boys begin their training under the guidance of a father figure/Shaolin monk. One is hot-headed, impulsive and ambitious, while the other has the completely opposite temperament. Best friends that are loyal to each other, both are expelled from the temple when Chin Bo (played by Chin Siu Ho) takes competition a bit too far and Jet Li's character Jun Bo sticks by him through thick and thin one too many times. Cast away from their home and out into the real world, they manage to come to a town that has all of the ingredients for the average kung-fu movie. There's a tyrannical governor taxing the townsfolk and a small rebel force that wants to help the people by overthrowing him. Several fights later, Chin Bo decides he wants to be somebody and becomes the governor's chief lieutenant while Jun Bo strays not from his heavenly path, thus setting up a series of fighting and training scenes that lead to their final showdown at the end.

Like I said, it's very formulaic and not a bunch of surprises are hiding in its plot. Michelle Yeoh is her awesome, beautiful and bad-assed self, playing Jun Bo's new partner in rebellion Siu Lin and (as always) doesn't let the viewer down. She's so graceful and quick; she and Li compliment each other really well here.

Most of Tai Chi Master is very run of the mill, but the final confrontation at the end is actually a pretty nice segment. That's not to say the rest of the action is lame (it's not), but they escalate through the course of the movie and it naturally makes the biggest splash at the end. The 96-minute running time actually felt a little longer, but I felt better about it once the final scenes unfolded.

Four featurettes are included on this single disc, along with a commentary by Hong Kong Cinema Expert Bey Logan. I didn't really think that the movie was so good that it deserved a commentary track, but what's even more useless is the fact that two of the featurettes are hack director Brett Ratner giving his take on the director and the stars. That feels a bit hard up to me, what with most of the geek community and fringe fans hating that guy's guts. Note to The Weinstein Company and Genius Products: If it's not a film directed by Ratner, then for Christ's sake, don't put him on your disc!

All in all, watching Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh in this is still pretty entertaining, despite some unoriginality in other areas.

The Batman: The Complete Fifth Season

Written by Musgo Del Jefe

Season Four of The Batman was creative and thought provoking. Robin was introduced to the mythology, one episode echoed Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns and in the finale, Batman and J'onn J'onnz (the Martian Manhunter) battled The Joining. The final scene of that season introduced Batman to the Justice League - Flash, Green Lantern, Green Arrow, and Hawkman in addition to Martian Manhunter.

Season Five starts exactly one year after the attacks. The show hits the ground running with a two-part episode introducing Superman ("Batman/Superman Parts 1 & 2"). The first episode is chock full of comic culture references with nods to almost every other incarnation of Superman in movies and television. Lois, Clark, and Jimmy have traveled to Gotham to present them with a check from the city of Metropolis to help rebuild from the battle with The Joining. They are met here by Superman villain, Metallo. In his battle with Batman and Robin, Metallo looks much like the T2 from the Terminator series. As a way of linking him to that character and not having to do a lot of explaining, we even get an "Hasta la vista, baby" as Robin drives away on his motorcycle.

In what will become a blueprint for many of this season's episodes, there is a blending of bad guys from both universes. Black Mask, Bane, and Clayface work for Lex Luthor to kidnap Lois. All the while Poison Ivy has been captured and Lex uses her spores to control Superman. The second part of the story is essentially a long fight scene with Lex launching one new attack after another with Superman under his control. In a nod to the current DC Comics mythology, Superman allows Batman to keep one of the last existing pieces of Kryptonite, so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. But this also serves to give Batman, without super powers, equal footing with Superman. In the end, Superman is introduced to the Justice League.

The season is very uneven and predictable. Much like the final season of Teen Titans, each episode from #3 to #11 follows one of two paths: a Brave and the Bold episode (a reference to the old time Batman Team-Up comic) or a stand-alone, usually action-packed episode featuring a Bat villain that is familiar to the viewer. What worked so well in Season Four was that we got to see Batman as a detective. There was a lot of character development between Batman, Robin, and Batgirl (who's almost an afterthought in this season). The Bat "family" that was built in Season Four is almost ignored and forgotten.

Each Justice League character gets an episode dedicated to them. It might be an origin back story (like Green Arrow in "Vertigo") or one that showcases their unique talents (like the Flash in "A Mirror Darkly"). There just isn't the chemistry between Batman and these new characters. It makes me long for the traditional Batman and Robin stories.

The traditional stand-alone episodes don't have the heart and cleverness that ones like "Artifacts" did in previous seasons. "White Heat," for example, brings back Firefly. He's a fun character that stands out because people don't remember his name. In this episode, we are introduced to his girlfriend, Blaze, and through an accident he becomes a new villain, Phosphorus. Instead of playing up the stories that made him a fun character (like people calling him "Bumblebee Man" because of his suit), we get an angry villain that's just Clayface with fire. The Joker is featured in "Joker Express". His humor is all but lost in an episode that becomes one big chase scene. The Joker in a criminal mastermind and part of the fun of his episodes is watching the detective, Batman, figure out the mystery.

The season and series ends with a two-parter that brings back The Joining. The finale would have had more power if we really had connected with the heroes. Seeing them all together fighting for Gotham is nice but not inspiring. The final story tries hard to make a point about working together as a team. It isn 't just super-heroes with superpowers that win the battle. Batman is an important piece with his intelligence.

This could have been a powerful episode with deeper meanings. Done correctly, this could lead to future Justice League movies and cartoons. But the lack of creative presentation of these iconic characters makes it less interesting. Season Four showed where the characters could go with creative license. Without that, it's not a Justice League, it's just five guys fighting the bad guys. And that's not what moves us.

The two-disc set includes the usual single Special Feature. This time it's a piece entitled "Joining Forces" which essentially details how the producers tried to translate the Brave and the Bold team-ups from the comic books to the small screen. It's interesting to see the sources they are pulling from but the execution did not translate. The new heros do not soar into our hearts.

Teen Titans: The Complete Fifth Season

Written by Musgo Del Jefe

I approached Season Five of Teen Titans as an informed novice. I have watched Season One of the show. I'm familiar with the core group of Titans from the show - Robin, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Starfire, and Raven. That first season was an extended story line about essentially Robin's greatest foe, Slade. Most of the episodes revolved around Robin and his need to face this powerful enemy. The other characters were established with their powers and teenage quirks. There was not the usual exploration of origins, nor was there mention of their "secret identities." Each character is essentially always in super-hero mode.

Four seasons later, I was able to drop right in with the characters. Little had changed from the established traits put forth in the first season. What had changed was the level of storytelling. Season One's story arc concentrated on a very generic "evil" villain for the "mythology" episodes and even more generic villains for the single story episodes. Robin's conflict with Slade was more teen angst at wanting to beat a powerful foe than it was battling more personal demons.

Season Five starts with a two-part episode, "Homecoming." In a flashback, we are introduced to two classic DC Comics teams. Our hero team for the flashback is The Doom Patrol. This team was a huge favorite of mine in the DC Universe. The Doom Patrol here is Beast Boy's original team before joining the Teen Titans. There's a classic collection of members here - Steve, Rita, Robot Man, and even the mummy-encased Negative Man. This version of Doom Patrol is battling another classic group of DC bad guys, The Brotherhood Of Evil. The Brotherhood are led by The Brain, a clever villain who looks like a Dalek from Dr. Who and actually sounds like one too! The Brain's other co-leader in the Brotherhood is the super-strong ape, Monsieur Mallah, with a high IQ and the ability to speak.

There is little actual plot development through the first two episodes (in fact, that will become a pattern throughout the season). What we're seeing is essentially an older version of the Titans. Steve is a much older version of Robin as leader. He's very serious. Robot Man is an older version of Cyborg. We are able to draw some conclusions by comparing the older team to the younger team. We can see what the Titans "could" become.

Back in current time, the Brotherhood Of Evil have made themselves known again, trying to acquire something generically called "The Quantum Generator." Faced with saving the world and more importantly, his old team, Beast Boy chooses to head off to fight the Brotherhood. It is obvious by the end of episode two that this is distinctly Beast Boy's story. He sees this as a time to grow up, to leave his troubled past with the Doom Patrol behind, and to help create a better, smarter team.

Once this initial plot is set-up, many of the following episodes fall into a similar category. In "Trust" we meet other teenage heroes - Wildebeast and Hotspot. They win over the Titans' trust and are given Titan Communicators as a way to keep in touch. In "Snowblind", it's Red Star who becomes an honorary Titan. In "Kole", it's the great character Gnaark that receives a communicator. These episodes feel like single-issue comics. The stories are rather simple and the eventual endings are telegraphed. Importantly, the writers made a choice to move the series out past the usual home of the Titans. The team travels the globe meeting these characters. It allows for creativity of set design (I love the Journey To The Center Of The Earth feel to "Kole") but too much time is spent setting up these new characters.

One unique quality to the show is its two theme songs. The US version typically denotes a serious story in continuity. If the Japanese lyric version is played, it means a less serious, usually stand-alone episode. This season has three and they're the stand-out episodes of the season. "For Real" introduces us to Titans East who take over for the Titans when they're out of town meeting other heroes. The group is fun and lends a new take to the "subbing in for the heroes" story. They upset the villain, Control Freak, by not knowing him (But "I'm a recurring villain!") and they're upset when they're mistaken for the original Titans and nobody knows them. "Revved Up" is essentially a set-up for one episode-long car chase.

The best episode of the season is "Hide and Seek." This Japanese-lyric show puts together a fun plot, great design, and makes a point to come back to the ongoing story. The serious character, Raven, is assigned the protection of some very young super-heroes (some Tiny Titans, if you will). The evil Mallah puts the kids at serious risk, turning this funny episode into a bit of a drama. They are saved by a huge "invisible" friend of one of the girls. The "invisible" friend turns out to be Bobby, a really big, strong teddy bear that looks like he was designed for a Miyazaki film. Plus, we have more honorary Titans added at the end of the episode to tie it back into the arc for the season.

The season ends with the two-part story - "Calling All Titans" and "Titans Together." In the first episode, the team is finally done on their journey and headed back home. But Robin needs to split up the team to each make one more delivery of Titan Communicators. Once the Titans are split up, the Brotherhood Of Evil starts their all-out attack. By the end of the episode, all the world is in chaos and the Brain feels that by capturing Robin he has captured the King in this game of chess.

"Titans Together" is the end of the storyline started in the initial episode. Here, Beast Boy grows up and becomes a leader. He becomes the hero that he thought he could be. The episode doesn't dwell on his transformation. Instead it gets bogged down by solving all the fights that were being lost in the previous episode. And in finding a way to defeat the Brotherhood Of Evil. This would have been a wonderful point to revisit Beast Boy's conflict with the Doom Patrol and bring closure to his "first family."

Oddly, for a canceled series, the actual last episode is called "Things Change." As an epilogue to the previous episodes, this one just doesn't fit. The team has arrived back home to find their city changed. The video store and pizza place and shops are closed down. A character from earlier in the series, Terra, is brought back but she doesn't remember Beast Boy who had a crush on her. Little is solved and the episode ends with the return of Slade. After such a solid ending with the previous two episodes, it seems odd to hint at further stories (whether they're coming direct to DVD or not in the future). I would've liked to see a true "change." That this season's episodes have caused our Titans to grow. To see their future. To become less a collection of teenagers and more of a family from their experiences.

The show is aimed at a younger audience than say The Batman which ran concurrently with this show. The biggest difference between the two is the level of plot development. Almost always, this series sets up the plot and then fills the time with long, extended fights. That leaves little time for introspection. That doesn't detract from the entertainment of the series, it just leaves you feeling that there could be so much more. I look forward to possible movies in the future for this group. Things do change and I'd like to follow this team into their next adventures.

The DVD includes limited special features - including a short feature "The Teen Titans: Friends and Foes" and some trailers.

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH (2008)

Written by Hombre Divertido

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008) Is Barely Worth The Trip

If you have ninety-three minutes to kill, and some money for popcorn and a soda, you could find a lot worse at the theatre this summer. Yes, the 1959 version of Jules Verne’s classic tale is a far superior film, but the story is completely different here, and thus squelches specific comparisons. Yes, the plot lacks depth and the quick wit normally associated with a summer action film, the situations are preposterous, and the 3-D effects are actually somewhat disappointing. With all that said, this film is still worth seeing.

New Line Cinema and Walden Media have created a fun summer movie for the whole family reminiscent of the classic Disney films of the sixties. The pacing is smooth, the soundtrack is excellent, and though Brendan Frasier lacks the energy he throws in to the Mummy films, he still manages to make it enjoyable to watch him deal with the situations. Luckily the supporting cast adds the energy Mr. Frasier is lacking. Josh Hutcherson channels a young Michael J. Fox, and Anita Briem displays a screen presence that we will hopefully see much more of.

Frasier plays scientist Trevor Anderson who is saddled with his nephew Sean (Hutcherson) for two weeks. When signs point to volcanic activity being identical to those that lead to the disappearance of Trevor’s fellow scientist brother and Sean’s dad, they head off to Iceland. After hiring Hannah (Briem) as their guide they inadvertently trek downward to the center of the earth.

Writers Michael D. Weiss, Jennifer Flackett, and Mark Levin have created more of a sequel to the 1959 film, that could have used a more intricate telling and certainly more humor, but director Eric Brevig does well with what he has, and certainly provides enough of the standard and gratuitous 3-D effects.

Recommendation: Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008) is an amusement park rollercoaster that is not worth a long wait. It is fun for a few minutes but you will immediately be ready for whatever else the park has to offer.

You must leave your brain in the car for this, and it certainly longs to be part of a double feature, but the performances and simplicity of the story still manage to draw you in. Many theatres are not showing this in 3-D, and that would be the straw that would break the back of the oversized flying fang-toothed fish that attack our heroes, and make this journey not worth taking.

Dallas: The Complete Ninth Season

Written by Senora Bicho

The ninth season of Dallas is one of the most controversial in soap opera history. Even if you never watched the show, you more than likely have heard about one of television’s most infamous cliffhangers, and I don't mean “Who shot J.R.?”

Dallas is the story of the Ewing family and all of those who are lucky or unlucky enough to come into contact with them. Ellie Ewing (Barbara Bel Geddes) is the matriarch and her sons John Ross “J.R.” Jr. (Larry Hagman) and Bobby (Patrick Duffy) managed their oil empire. J.R. and Bobby were always battling with J.R. being the ruthless businessman who only cared about success at the expense of everyone else’s failures.

Season Nine starts with the Ewing family mourning the death of Bobby who, after reuniting with his ex-wife Pamela (Victoria Principal), was run down at the end of season eight. There is instant scheming to take over Bobby’s position at Ewing Oil that carries on for several episodes, and a rival oil company looks to take over the business.

In addition to the aftermath of Bobby’s death, there are other interesting storylines throughout the season. J.R. becomes the target by a mysterious and beautiful femme fatale and an excursion to Colombia results in a kidnapping. Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) is J.R.’s wife and their relationship is one heck of a rollercoaster ride. In addition to battling J.R., she battles a serious drinking problem. Pam finds a new romance and weds. Jenna (Priscilla Beaulieu Presley) who had an on-and-off relationship with Bobby tries to move on with a new beau. Ray and Donna Krebbs (played by Steve Kanaly and Susan Howard) have to make a decision about their unborn baby and suffer a tragedy.

While this season involves lots of drama, scheming, and mayhem, in the end what happens to the characters really doesn’t matter. Why? Because it was all a dream. In the last episode of the season Pam wakes up and finds Bobby in the shower, which startled all of its viewers. The following season opener revealed Pam had been having a bad dream.

In addition to the 31 complete episodes, there is also one special feature “Seasons of Change.” This featurette discusses the departure and return of Bel Geddes, the changes that were needed in order to compete with Dynasty, and the reason behind making the season a dream. The show had lost its central conflict with the loss of the good brother Bobby battling the bad J.R., so they needed a way to bring him back after killing him.

Even though this season’s storylines aren’t part of the series’ continuity, the episodes are still entertaining and worth watching if you are a soap fan. J.R. is fun to watch and can always be counted on for good one-liners. Since soap operas are always so over the top and mostly ridiculous, it all being a dream doesn’t make this season any worse than other shows. It can just be viewed as a standalone season and enjoyed for what it is.