Friday, February 16, 2007

THE MESSENGERS



Written by Hombre Divertido

The Messengers fail to deliver.

If you have seen The Birds, Poltergeist, Amityville Horror, The Shining, and The Sixth Sense, than you have seen pieces of The Messengers done much better. This is an eighty-five minute concoction of other stories thrown together into a haunted house tale that hits every cliché possible.

The kids are attacked by dead people, know one believes them, they continue to stay in the house, and model behavior that know normal person ever would. A character is introduced from out of the blue that is sure to be key piece of the puzzle, and the big reveal at the end falls as flat as the performances in this film.

I would at least like to tell you that this is good brain candy i.e.: Leave your brain in the car, and go watch a movie that will make you jump every ten minutes, but The Messengers even fails on that front.

The biggest problem here is a complete lack of depth. The standard opening segment where we see what happened in the house prior to the arrival of our victim family is far too vague, as are the eventual attacks to the family. We’re not sure who or what is doing the nasty deeds, nor do we understand why. The writer and director fail to understand that part of the enjoyment gleaned from an audience stems from a desire to figure things out while grasping the rafters after being scared out of our seats. There are no such rafter-grabbing moments in this film, nor is there anything worth trying to figure out.

I could mention the special effects, but you have seen the best ones in the commercials. The majority of that which remains is nothing but computer generated clumsiness. I could mention the actors and make further reference to their performances, but they're all forgettable, and I’m sure they’ll appreciate no further association with this dud.

Recommendation: Send a message back by not paying to see this mess at the theatre or on DVD. Rent Poltergeist and The Birds for much more fun.