Written by Fumo Verde
All right, Stoner Nation, this one is for those of us not so fortunate enough yet to get our asses over to Holland and hit the weed-friendly city of Amsterdam. Since I haven’t hit the Cup myself, this DVD provides a little insight to what we as stoners call our “Oscars.” This hour-long documentary allows us a judges’ eye-view of how winners are chosen. Breeders and growers from all over the globe have come here to prove themselves. Like the North Shore of Oahu for surfers, the Cannabis Cup will either make or break one’s career in the world of pot growing. So pack a freshy-fresh, find the lighter that works, and prepare to see some of this planet’s most amazing marijuana.
The celebrity judges included people who you would know if you always read High Times. I don’t read the magazine, so I honestly had no idea who these people were. I knew they were important though, because their names flashed up on the screen, and if I wasn’t so high myself I would have remembered to write them down, but when in Holland, do like the Dutch. The one thing I will say for these judges is they knew their pot. When people start delving into the realm of botany and begin to extrapolate about glandular trichomes, that’s where I pack a fresh bowl and start flicking my lighter. It’s interesting and I know it’s important because this will determine the level of THC, but I’m more into the high and the taste. If you are looking to become a grower you need to listen to what these people are talking about. When you figure it out, grow some grass, and I’ll come over and smoke it and tell you if I’m stoned.
Watching the judges smoke was a thrill, but listening to them discuss how the mellowness or harshness of the bud compared to the others they were smoking and how the flavors of the pot came out and surprised their tasted buds was the real treat. I learned that if you sneeze after taking a solid hit off a doob, then this bud is a winner. To some, sitting around a room and smoking joint after joint might be the best way to determine which pot is a winner, but for me it the memories, or lack, of the high and how it felt; this for me at least will decided if I buy that strain again.
But the Cannabis Cup isn’t just about the weed. It’s about the coffee shops and the owners too. As a judge you not only have to rate the weed, but the shop that supplied you with it too. One must judge on the atmosphere of these shops. You must rate the music, lighting, and the character of the shop itself, the knowledge of the people working there, and how friendly they were. There is a list of items of which a judge must score upon and you must do it in a five-day period. To me this seems insane as you try to run around the city and hit as many coffee houses as possible while being lit up like a kite. Your vote does count when it comes to who has the best shop and all that goes with it, but when it comes to deciding what breeder has the best indica or best sativa or hybrid, well those decisions are left up to the panel of experts I told you about before. Kind of like the Electoral College but for weed.
Let us not forget about the hash, either. If you want to blend in with the locals and not look like a tourist, then mix your hash with tobacco and the people will think you know what you are doing. There are two types of hash that seem to flow in the city. Nederhash is hash made locally in the Netherlands while import hash comes from places such as Morocco, Lebanon, and India. Like weed, hash has crazy names and flavors too, such as Triple X and Bubblemania. The film described how hash is made and how best to utilize it when it comes to getting stoned. Almost every shop has its own kind of bud and hash, so when judging, one must not get too high so you can remember what you just had.
The extras on this DVD bring you a special performance with Redman, some high-resolution pictures of bud so you can dream of smoking it, along with some funny interviews and a look at what High Times is calling “the world’s biggest bong.” A neat little booklet comes with it too, showing the winning buds and hash. It also has a map of the shops in the city so if you go there you can visit the places you saw on the DVD.
This wasn’t a very exciting film but it did give me a look at what to expect when I finally go to Amsterdam next summer. Though the Cup is held in November, I would rather not hit up the place when the tourist factor is so high. If you’ve been interested on how this event came about and what it looks like when you are there, then this DVD is a great window to look through before making plans for a trip.
Now if you will excuse me, I must get involved with some Train Wreck.
