WITCHFINDER GENERAL

Written by Fantasma el Rey

For Vincent Price’s 75th role we see him as Matthew Hopkins in 1968’s Witchfinder General, directed by Michael Reeves and based on the historical novel by Ronald Bassett. It is a tale of horror in the sense that for the most part these events did take place and people like Hopkins did exist.

Hopkins roams the countryside in Cromwell-era England searching for witches and doing God’s work by condemning them to death after torturing them into confessions of guilt. In reality these women and men (mostly young women) are innocent and a confession can be a murmur just before they pass out from blood loss. The accused are brought before Hopkins after he’s been paid by the town folk to basically exterminate the people that they find annoying or troublesome. After Hopkins enjoys carnal pleasures with the accused young women, they are tortured, mostly by Hopkins assistant, who likes to watch and hear their screams, and then hung. Amidst the chaos of civil war, Hopkins slips under the radar of the authorities and plays off the fears and religious beliefs of the common man to mask his sadist fetishes.

Hopkins’ reign of terror begins to unravel after he tortures and abuses a young woman whose soldier husband vows to avenge his wife’s honor. From there, we have scenes of Hopkins in various towns and villages doing his best to rid the world of the “foul ungodliness in women kind.” Now that along with the whole torture/sex thing says to me that Hopkins had a bad run with women throughout his life. Maybe his mother abused him or he is a bastard son of many possible men. Perhaps his wife left him or became the town doorknob. Who knows such things? All I know is that we have a wonderful vehicle for Vincent Price to prove once more that he is the greatest ghoul, well maybe second or third, or tied for first with Lugosi and Karloff.

The last ten minutes or so is where this cult classic is best. Throughout we get to see torture, hangings, and chicks being burned alive, but here in the final moments we get to see the end of a madman and the creation of two more. Unlike the historical Matthew Hopkins, who passed peacefully in his own bed, our ghoulish hero dies beautifully at the end of an ax, hacked to pieces by the soldier.

In the soldier’s pursuit, he loses himself and goes insane with revenge while his wife goes bananas after the whole ordeal of lies, torture, and death. The film closes with her screams of insanity ringing in our ears like the bells of a grand cathedral ringing though out the countryside.

This low-budget English classic was also released in the U.S. as Edger Allen Poe’s The Conqueror Worm but has nothing to with the Poe poem. Figuring that American audiences would be more willing to see a Poe adaptation than some British flick an additional intro was added to the film, some voice work by Price reading Poe I imagine, and that was it. Whatever you call it though it is a fun movie to watch and as a DVD extra there is a half hour look at the film, "Witchfinder General: Michael Reeves Horror Classic," which is insightful and just as entertaining.

Witchfinder General isn’t the greatest horror/thriller there is, but with the days getting shorter and the nights becoming longer it’s a good film for those late nights when the moon is shining bright and your groovy ghoulie girly is in your arms. Remember, ghoulies, it’s only make believe…or is it?

THE TV SET

Written by Musgo Del Jefe

For full disclosure, I have to say that when I initially heard the title, The TV Set, I thought (and hoped) that I might be getting something along the lines of the brilliant, The Groove Tube (1974). Just as The Groove Tube used short sketches, interspersed with commercials to satirize TV and the popular culture of the day, I thought maybe I'd get a cutting edge comic piece similar to that. And then the opening credits rolled.

As the title card announced, this is "the story of a pilot." Considering that our lead character Mike (David Duchovny) has a pregnant wife (Justine Bateman), this movie could've been about the "birth" of a TV show. But that potential subplot along with many others gets held at arms length as the movie progresses. That may be part of the problem with this film. It's not the sum of its parts.

At its heart, this is the story of Mike, a writer, trying to get his dream project produced and on the network schedule. The writer and director, Jake Kasdan, was a writer on one of the more brilliant shows of the past decade, Freaks and Geeks, a show ultimately cancelled despite critical acclaim. His insider knowledge of the workings of the industry can either help the arc of the film or really bog it down. How will Mike maintain his vision? Will he have to change along the way?

We start at the final casting call for the lead actor and actress of the show. Mike wants TJ Goldman (get it - Gold / Man) as his lead character Rob. TJ has a "cutting edge" beard just like Mike. Zach Harper (Fran Kranz) isn't given a chance by Mike. But Zach is given the part by the Network President (Sigourney Weaver) because of his emotion. TJ is all surface, no emotion. The scene with both actors performing the same scene is not played for the full humor - the network execs do overreact to Zach's performance but differences could've been exaggerated more and then it wouldn't have to be explained to us in the next scene.

Once Zach is cast as Rob and Laurel (Lindsay Sloane) is cast as Amanda, we have our premise set and the movie feels like it can officially begin at 16 minutes in. I like the potential of the filming of a TV show within a movie. You have so many items to play off of each other, thematically. You have the plot of the show, The Wexler Chronicles (lawyer returns home after his brother's suicide and falls in love), you have the interaction of the same actors outside of the TV show (each character playing two roles essentially), and the interactions happening around the people making the show. It's ripe for comedy and most recently it was done for a movie within a movie in For Your Consideration. Once the filming starts here, it's hard not to compare the two films. Sixteen minutes in and just as we start to shoot the show, the network wants to change the premise. They don't want the brother to commit suicide. And this starts the ultimate question of the film - where do you "hold your ground" on your dream?

Act 2 starts as the filming of the pilot episode begins. Much like For Your Consideration, the interior show (here The Wexler Chronicles and there Home For Purim) isn't very good but the actors take it seriously. That's always the key for humor and these scenes are absurd and humorous. As the actors in the pilot fall in love, it looks like we have a budding romance between the same actors outside of the show. The dichotomy of these scenes is clever but not well fleshed out. Zach is a hard character to read. This "emotional" character at the beginning seemed full of youthful pep and enthusiasm. Once the show starts filming, he seems to turn inexplicably manipulative and self obsessed.

By Act 3, we're getting closer to the "birth" of the show. Mike's back problems are getting worse from the stress and his wife is getting closer to giving birth (she's eight months pregnant as the testing process approaches). We've also got a subplot of the Head of Primetime Programming, Richard McAlister (Ioan Gruffudd aka Mr. Fantastic). He is from England and is really pushing Mike's vision of The Wexler Chronicles. He is also having marriage problems and his wife is threatening to take their child and move back to the U.K. This drama keeps popping up out of nowhere every 15 minutes and taking away from the core story. It really feels forced and like padding to the story. The drama of losing a wife and kids is too heavy on the scale next to making a TV show and really does a disservice to this film.

Ultimately, Mike realizes that this show, like life isn't always how your original vision started "but you make it work." That's a great theme. Much like Home For Purim is changed in For Your Consideration, so The Wexler Chronicles is changed to Call Me Crazy along with other changes. Call me crazy but there's a lot of potential here. If the story concentrated more on Mike and his wife and the actors in the TV show and less on Richard and the comedic subplots of Lenny (Weaver's character), that lesson, "but you make it work," would carry some weight. Richard gives an impassioned speech about returning to "scripted stories" and a "smart show." This movie, like The Wexler Chronicles has a vision. It has good writing, great acting, and some truly funny scenes. However when it's all over you don't come away from the film feeling that it worked.

The film does leave you laughing. The two funniest scenes show that Jake Kasdan should be making the next The Groove Tube and they're buried at the end of the film. The first is the Promo Reel for Call Me Crazy that combines every TV cliché that NBC has ever put into a trailer for one of their new shows (and this one includes fart jokes too!). The second is a scene from the network's other success, a reality show called Slut Wars hosted by Seth Green. Trust me, there's a movie that really satirizes TV that's ripe to be made.

DVD EXTRAS. Double commentaries highlight the DVD release. Most interesting of the two is Jake Kasdan and Freaks and Geeks executive producer, Judd Apatow, talking about the genesis of this movie and other anecdotes about the TV industry. If only this movie had tied up all it's lose themes the way an episode of Freaks and Geeks was able to in 60 minutes. I'm afraid they were taking Lenny's advice - "Original scares me a little. You don't want to be too original."

The Lost World (Special Edition) - 1960 & 1925 versions

Written by Hombre Divertido

Irwin Allen’s 1960 production of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World is not the prize in this package. Mr. Allen’s production is actually outdone by the 1925 silent version directed by Harry Hoyt that is included in this two-disc set.

Though it can be challenging to watch a silent film, and with the music in this one being so heavy-handed, it does become distracting, but if you can appreciate what was accomplished over eighty years ago, you can’t help but find this effort endearing.

It is in the story and character development where it surpasses the efforts of the 1960 version. The actors of the silent era were far more expressive and relied on more action and depth of story to entertain and enthrall their audiences. This production also contains special effects that were groundbreaking (Pun intended.) for their time.

Unfortunately the same could not be said for the special effects in the 1960 endeavor. The Lost World, which had lost the race to the theatre by six months to Journey to the Center of the Earth, utilized virtually the same type of special effects to display its prehistoric creatures.

The 1960 outing is also quite formulaic in its storytelling and the characters are one-dimensional. Jill St. John as the heroine gives an amazingly trite performance, and Fernando Lamas and Jay Novello, though talented, should clearly be wearing red shirts. The rest of the cast including David Hedison, Michael Rennie, and the legendary Claude Raines give adequate performances, but Professor Challenger as portrayed by Raines does not seem as out of control as when portrayed by Wallace Beery in 1925.

The extras here are interesting. The deleted scenes from the 1925 version contain only shots of the creatures. The story of how this film was reassembled is quite interesting. Lots of photos and marketing material from the 1960 version including the original trailer, and a page-by-page layout of the comic book rendition of the film.

Recommendation: Though the 1960 version may be too simple for some, and the silent-era version just too taxing for someone looking for brain candy, together they do make for an interesting few hours. It allows for a history lesson on how cinematic storytelling has changed, for better or worse. Good family fare for a rainy day.

Two and a Half Men - The Complete First Season

Written by Musgo Del Jefe

First, let's tap the brakes a little on what makes a successful comedy. Two and a Half Men is currently celebrating the start of its Fifth Season and the start of what will be a very profitable syndication run. But let's not confuse this with Seinfeld or M*A*S*H. Two and a Half Men is not a failure, it can rightly say that it's been the top-rated comedy the past couple years. Arrested Development could never come close to the numbers that this show draws. A typical summer repeat of the show draws almost 11 million viewers, making it a Top-Ten show in repeats! What draws everyone?

This isn't the type of show that needs to be deconstructed or have the subtleties pointed out. Like many succesful sit-coms, the premise is easily summed up. In most cases (Three's Company or Gilligan's Island for example) the premise can be summarized in the theme song or opening credits. The outline for this show is so simple they don't even bother because it's summed up in the title. Heavy-drinking, sexually active, jingle-writing musician, Charlie (Charlie Sheen) lives in his beach house in Malibu. His exactly opposite brother, Alan (Jon Cryer) is thrown out by his wife and comes to live with Charlie, bringing his 10-year-old son, Jake (Angus T. Jones) with him.

In the first few minutes of the "Pilot", we're already reminded of a slew of other sit-coms. The Odd Couple with an additional kid comes to mind first. Second, I couldn't help but notice that the apartment appears to be a slightly updated version of Laverne & Shirley's apartment from when they moved to California. And the laugh track. The laugh track is overwhelming. I guess the traditional sit-com has become the non-traditional with shows like Scrubs, The Office and 30 Rock gaining popularity. The laugh track here is painful and really takes away from most of the funny sarcasm.

The cast is filled out with Rose (Melanie Lynskey - Heavenly Creatures) as Charlie's stalker neighbor. Her role is like that of other wacky neighbors including Lenny & Squiggy and Kramer that make comedically timed entrances. Judith (Marin Hinkle) is Alan's ex-wife that may or may not be a lesbian, leading to the potential of gay humor every time she's in a scene (Will & Grace). Evelyn Harper (Holland Taylor) is the boy's mother and Jake's grandmother. These are the show's ingredients: ultra male, feminine male, cute-but-troublemaker boy, stalker/funny neighbor, gay/not gay ex-wife, and domineering mother. These ingredients can be mixed and matched into clever combinations.

The concept is simple and yet the amount of plots that can be developed from these basics is impressive. Take the "If I Can't Write" episode. It plays up the relationship of Charlie and Alan as a "couple" with Alan's feminine attention to house cleaning to comedic ends. When it's left up to Charlie to "clean up" Jake, the tables are turned and he learns to appreciate the hard work that Alan does. I believe I saw that episode of The Brady Bunch also. In "The Last Thing You Want" Charlie learns "responsibility" by going to Jake's soccer game. Both Alan and Charlie end up on "dates" with their opposites: Charlie gets the "good" girl and Alan gets the MILFs. With the roles reversed, both learn to see the world from the other's point of view. But like the rules of a sitcom, everything is returned to the way it started by the end of the episode.

I actually found it fun to follow the different combinations of characters. But this is the First Season; I'm not sure how you keep that going without inserting more characters in future seasons. The pedigree is impressive. You've got actors who've been in successful films, not TV retreads. And yet, it's rarely funny or satisfying. Starting with the second episode, the episode titles were quotes from that episode. Like an appearance of Hitchcock in one of his films, I was often distracted (maybe even entertained) waiting to hear the quote instead of following the plot.

The best parts of the First Season are when the two lead actors step out of their "world". In "Go East On Sunset" there's a clever "Taxicab Confessions" nod and in "Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers" there's a great skit with Jake's class combining Charlie's jingles with Jake's class play on the Industrial Revolution.

This isn't one of those discs with an overwhelming amount of extras like Lost, Heroes or The Office. There's a solid "Featurette" on the show and a Gag Reel with Outtakes.

EAT MY DUST (Supercharged Edition)

Written by Puño Estupendo

If you say "Roger Corman" to someone, it seems like they are either completely "in the know" or are happily ignorant of what that name means. I'm not ashamed in the least to say that I love what that man's done, but don't necessarily love all of the movies he's brought into the world. So when I see a DVD with the "Roger Corman" banner on the box art, there's a pretty fair chance that I'm going to check it out at some point.

Eat My Dust is a nice little slice out of time from the 1970s involving stock cars, beer drinking, short shorts, and Ron Howard. Released in 1976 and directed by Charles B. Griffith, it focuses more on fast driving and "good ol' boy" humor than it does on plot or character development. Everything you need to know is all given to you in record time: within the first 15 minutes or so.

Hoover Niebold sneaks his friends into the local stock car races for some semi-rowdy fun and teenage carrying-on. Ron Howard is outgoing and confident in the role, generally likable right away. Hoover's supposed to be quite the character even though his only claims to infamy are a Civil War-styled hat, a jacket with a bunch of racing patches, and "more speeding tickets than anyone else in the county." That would be Puckerbush County to be exact, where Hoover's biggest problems seem to be his father the sheriff and his lack of a blond girlfriend in hot pants. He gets a quick chance to rectify the second problem, but it's going to be hell on the first one.

The blond in hot pants is a little out of Hoover's league wants to go for a fast ride, but Hoover's truck can't give it to her. However, she sees one that will do just right. Big Bubba Jones has his winning stock car within pointing distance and she seals the movie's plot by aiming her finger at it and saying, "I want a ride in that car." Hoover obviously has it bad for her so it doesn't take long for him to be peeling out of there with hot pants riding shotgun and his friends in the back of Big Bubba's (now stolen) pride and joy. This all takes place by the 17-minute mark. From then on it's chase, chase, chase, with Hoover's dad trying to get all of the parents in check and putting a stop to this situation.

There's a huge group of secondary characters in use here. You've got the bumbling police force, the "good ol' boy" car racers, the parents of Hoover's friends, and some miscellaneous one- or two-line jokesters. I knew I was going to like this cast when I saw Clint Howard show up as one of Hoover's buds, but what sealed the deal for '70s fun was when Dave Madden (Reuben Kincaid from The Partridge Family) comes on screen as Big Bubba Jones.

Now, admittedly so, I understand that's not much of a plot but that's not what you watch these movies for in the first place. What there is to be enjoyed from watching Eat My Dust is the joy of a time and place with movies that just couldn't happen now. This flick has every cliché in the book and you love it for it. Cars driving through buildings, fruit baskets and crates that are stacked in the street for no apparent reason, everyone has a beer in their hand while they're behind the wheel, and there's no such thing as sexism. You know the drill. You've seen this kind of action played out a gazillion times and yet it's fun here.

For the Corman fans out there, you get some nice little asides. Director Griffith wrote Death Race 2000, which was directed by Paul Bartel, who makes a minor appearance as one of the kid's dad. Griffith also wrote the 1959 classic A Bucket Of Blood, which turns out to be a tavern of some sort in Puckerbush.

This is the kind of movie that should always be playing on some cable station on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. It's not the best movie of its kind but you won't need it to be. Just lie on the couch and smile; it's that kind of movie.

Boston Legal: Season Three

Written by Fumo Verde

Once again the cast and crew of Boston Legal throws the book at our wonderful yet many times broken legal system as the law offices of Crane, Poole & Schmidt seize upon the issues of the day while giving their viewers laughs all night. Can Season Three match the zaniness of Season Two? That’s for you to decide; to me, it’s just one continuous side ache, at times I can hardly breathe I’m laughing so much.

Season Three came off just as politically charged as last season if not more, and the intensity of the drama countered by the pure sidesplitting comedy takes the viewer on a trek through the emotional gamut. With Denny Crane (William Shatner) at the helm, could you expect anything else? Following Denny, Alan Shore (James Spader), and Shirley Schmidt (Candice Bergen) won’t teach you about your legal rights like Law and Order used too, but for a good escape from your day’s worries a little Boston Legal is good for the soul.

As all shows do, Boston Legal added some new and some not-so-new characters. Jeffery Coho (Craig Bierko) is the sneaky almost seedy lawyer we all hate yet want defending us. Sadly, we barely scratch the surface of Coho’s character. I wondered if he knew his last name was type of salmon. Didn’t matter, I was just waiting for him get into a fight with Brad Chase. Jeffery and Brad come to blows over a few issues including Denise (Julie Bowen), who looked as if she was on her way out last season. What transpires through the actions of these three characters alone could be a comedy show itself.

Jerry Espenson (Christian Clemenson) is back with an even bigger part and so is Clarence Bell (Gary Anthony Williams). Both men bring to the table a charm and wit that touches the viewers. These two characters have “special issues,” yet both adapt and change to their environment in a believable way that makes you feel that you can do it too.

It’s not just the new people who are having all the fun though. Alan is still sleeping around the legal offices of Boston while Denny’s new love interest Bethany seems to be putting him in his place—until her mother shows up. Enter Delta Burke; she is Bethany’s mom and one of Denny’s former lovers. As if this isn’t enough for our mad-cow brained leader, he also gets sued for smuggling human fat into the county for the use of making it into fuel.

Still more insanity comes down the pike with Lincoln Meyer (David Dean Bottrell) who was a witness in Coho’s case, overhyped by the media, of sex, love, and murder. Meyer is a psycho who holds Shirley hostage just so he could get more TV coverage. Moments like the one described above are the ones that keep you on the edge of your seat. Such is the episode where a man who hates Denny, straps a bomb to his own body and takes the firm hostage. The writers are highly intelligent and know how to keep you on that edge, yet they don’t forget to lighten up the moment with some comedy. As the police are getting ready to save the hostages, Brad, our former Marine, tries to help as he gets himself stuck in one of the buildings vents. The dialog between Brad and the police captain is classic. It’s the mix of this adrenaline-driven drama with outrageous comedy added with some political wit that puts Boston Legal into a category all of its own.

I love it when Alan is in court. I was never a fan of James Spader until I saw Boston Legal. He plays the part of an accomplished litigator very well, and with his little smirks and courtroom bravado one could only wish for a lawyer with that much ability. How can he not with writers so in tune with the pulse of our nation today. The episode “Angel of Death” puts Alan in the courts of New Orleans, and though Denny is in the Big Easy for fun, Alan has to represent a doctor who had to euthanize five patients in the wake of hurricane Katrina.

Boston Legal: Season Three peels back the layers of the cast giving us new insight to characters. With twenty-four episodes on seven discs, it may take you some time to watch, but it’s worth every minute.

WALL STREET (20th Anniversary Edition)

Written by Senora Bicho

Greed is good and still alive and well in the United States. We are in a very interesting time in the history of our country. Today is all about instant gratification. Planning and saving for something you want is a thing of the past. Our country is in overwhelming debt, we have a housing market and mortgage crisis, and the U.S. dollar is losing value rapidly. Wall Street can be considered the perfect movie to highlight the excesses of the 1980s but with all of these issues facing us now, twenty years later, the movie is even more relevant and an important statement on the decisions facing young professionals.

I enjoyed Wall Street when it originally came out but it didn’t resonate as much as it does for me today. Over the course of my career I have worked with many powerful men. Some whom I still have tremendous respect for and some who just barely avoided jail. What is interesting about the Gordon Gekkos that I have run across is that they are so crazy with power that they don’t realize who they have become. They surround themselves with yes men and don’t see their downfall until it is too late. The role of Gordon Gekko, played so masterfully by Michael Douglas, which earned an Academy Award for his performance, hits on all cylinders and is a perfect representation of the corrupt businessman.

The story of Wall Street is about the rise and fall of Bud Fox played by Charlie Sheen, who does a great job conveying the naivety of the character and the quick desire for greatness and success that face young people starting their careers. Fox is a stockbroker stuck in the rat race. The film opens with him crammed in an elevator with all of the other rats. He is a nameless broker stuck in a cube maze who is determined to make it big. In order to achieve his goals he sets his sights on bagging Gordon Gekko as a client and therefore calls his office everyday for 59 days. On Gekko’s birthday Fox brings him a box of cigars and scores a few minutes in his office. Fox quickly learns that information is the only commodity Gekko is interested in and shares some insider information that Fox has learned about his father’s airline. This does the trick and earns him a chance.

Bud’s lifestyle changes as money, women, drugs, and entry into all of the New York hot spots are instantly thrown at him. It is easy to see why Fox would be so attracted to this lifestyle even at the price he has to pay for it. While Gekko is having a huge influence on him, there are two good influences in his life trying to steer him back to the right side of the law. His father, Carl Fox, played by his real-life father Martin Sheen, and a co-worker, Lou Mannheim, played by Hal Holbrook. Both of them are philosophers of sorts and provide Fox with pearls of wisdom. Both are wonderful in their roles, however, they do not compare to Gekko’s god-like magnetism. Carl sees through Gekko right from the beginning but Bud must see it for himself. The moment when Fox realizes what Gekko is really all about is very powerful and you can feel his disappointment in the person he looked up to the most. Fox’s decline is just a rapid as his rise. He loses the girl, his fancy apartment and ends up arrested but not before he saves his fathers airline and sets up Gekko for his downfall.

You can’t discuss Wall Street without mentioning the signature “Greed is Good” speech. Douglas has many great moments in the film but this scene is the high point for his character. The fundamentals of this speech are right on. Companies too often are poorly run with too many executives getting paid huge salaries that exceed their contributions to the bottom line. Gekko’s ideas on reforming these organizations are on target. His thoughts on greed being good are also accurate. Greed helps move a society forward. The desire to achieve more and to not be complacent is necessary. Where Gekko goes wrong is that his success becomes never enough. He needs more and more money and fame. He needs to win at any cost and doesn’t realize that he has become the bad guy.

Wall Street was Oliver Stone at his best. His directing is impeccable and he sets up the characters visually and emotionally. For example, the audience is first introduced to Gekko with his voice in the background and a brief peek of his face as many important men are being ushered into his office. Lighting, facial expressions, and camera work help enhance the story and draw the viewer into the film. The movie is also fun to watch for the technology of the time. The computer, cordless phone, watchman, and other high tech gadgets are a kick to see.

There is only one new feature on this DVD release: the “Greed is Good” featurette. This is very well done and worth watching. It has Stone, Douglas, Sheen, and many of the other co-stars discussing the film today. One fascinating comment made by Douglas is that many people even still come up to him and say that Gekko is their role model and is who their career is based on. Pretty scary but considering who we have in the White House these days not entirely surprising. Another interesting perspective provided is from the floor traders and stockbrokers who originally consulted on the movie. The recycled items included are an audio commentary from Stone, deleted scenes, and a making of documentary.

The 20th Anniversary Edition of Wall Street is now available and is a must-have for any film aficionado collection. If you already own a previous release, you should rent this one just to watch the new documentary.

FLASHDANCE

Written by Senora Bicho

Flashdance, what a feeling! Leg warmers, big hair, torn t-shirts, over-the-top music, and all of the other fabulous aspects of the ‘80s are well represented in this Special Collector’s Edition.

The movie was released in April 1983. I was 10 at the time so I wasn’t even aware of the impact it was having on pop culture. I didn’t come to appreciate it until high school when my friends and I would watch it over and over again along with listening and dancing to the soundtrack. I loved this film and felt that it was a movie engendering female power. The music is still fantastic but the rest of the film leaves a little to be desired.

Flashdance is the story of an 18-year-old welder who dreams of being a dancer. Jennifer Beals plays the lead role of Alexandra (Alex) Owens. Beals is adorable in the role and gives the character warmth and innocence. In order to achieve her dream of getting into a well-renowned dance school, Alex dances in her off time at a gentlemen’s club. The key about this club is that the women do not dance nude and are given artistic freedom in creating their dance numbers with music and costumes. The first dance number Alex performs grabs the attention of Nick Hurley played by Michael Nouri. Hurley turns out to be the boss at the steel mill. He repeatedly asks her out only to be continuously turned down. One night Alex is being harassed by the owner of an X-rated club and Hurley comes along to save the day. Thus, their romance begins.

One big problem I now have with the film is the fact that Alex is only 18 while Hurly is much older. I didn’t remember this when I had watched it way back, but it seems a bit creepy now. However, there is a connection between the characters and their chemistry works. The reason being the music and the dancing carry the movie. The overall plot and subplots are extremely weak; the movie is really just one big music video. The music elevates the film to another level and would make anyone want to get up and dance. The best song of them all is the title track, “Flashdance . . . What a Feeling,” performed by Irene Cara which won the Academy Award for Best Original Song.

Another criticism of the film that created a lot of controversy at the time was the fact that Beals didn’t actually do the dancing; she had a double. This is very distracting because it is very obvious when it’s not Beals. The hair gives it away as well as the times when you can actually see the double’s face. I am not sure why they didn’t go with a trained dancer in the role. Cynthia Rhodes plays a friend and fellow dancer at the club. She is an amazing dancer who also had supporting roles in Dirty Dancing and Staying Alive. I think the film could have been better and more credible if she had played the main character.

Flashdance, while being a cultural icon, also kicked off the successful producing partnership of Jerry Bruckheimer and Don Simpson for Paramount Pictures. After this movie, they produced many other films together, such as the hits Beverly Hills Cop and Top Gun. Simpson died in 1996 and their last film together, The Rock, was dedicated to his memory. I was surprised to realize that the film was directed by Adrian Lyne. It was only his second film but seems so out of place from the films he went on to direct such as 9 ½ Weeks and Fatal Attraction. The film does have a dark, sexy look and feel about it that translates to his later work.

The special features of the DVD are really one chopped-up featurette that covers the history, look, music and songs, choreography, and the release of Flashdance. Bruckheimer, Lyne, and Nouri discuss all of these aspects along with more producers, choreographers, costume designers, and others. Beals is noticeably missing. If you love the film, you will enjoy getting the insight. Lyne is especially charismatic and interesting to listen to.

One producer referred to the film as the “Girl’s Rocky”. I disagree and would say this is more a film about following your dreams no matter who you are. Times have changed since the time the film was released though, and women have gained more ground and are shown in more powerful roles than ever. Meryl Streep, Glen Close, Kate Blanchette, and Helen Mirren are just a few that inspire and amaze me. The best part of this DVD Collection is the CD with six of the best songs from the film. My drive to work was so much better with this in my CD player.

Flashdance was hugely successful and was the #6 grossing film of 1983 and has earned over $94 million in the United States with the soundtrack selling over 6 million copies. This film is a perfect representation of the ‘80s and is silly fun. If you loved it then, you will probably still like it now, especially the music.

SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK

Written by Hombre Divertido

Sometimes They Come Back never should have shown up in the first place.

There have been numerous incarnations of Stephen King stories in theaters and on television, but few have been as poorly executed as this 1991, ninety-three minute, made-for-television bomb directed by Tom McLoughlin from a teleplay by Lawrence Konner.

The story makes little sense, plods along, and is filled with one dimensional performances. Tim Matheson and Brooke Adams, who must have been taking the only roles they could get at the time, look trapped by a script that leaves them nowhere to go.

As a couple returning to the town where Jim Norman (Matheson) grew up, and suffered through a childhood that included the death of his older brother in an accident initiated by a group of stereotypical hoods from the fifties, Jim and Sally (Adams) along with their son (Normally you would list an actors name in parenthesis after referring to the character, but Robert Hy Gorman, who played the son, would probably thank me if I didn't), have returned in hopes of starting over. They need the fresh start due to some violence issues that are never completely revealed that Jim had in his previous teaching job.

So Jim settles into his new teaching job, until his students start dying, and are replaced in class by new kids who just happen to be the same hoods involved in the death of Jim’s brother. The hoods drive a car that not everyone can see and are out for revenge.

The questions as to how they are coming back, why they are coming back, and how they intend to get revenge take far too long to answer, and when the answers come, they make little sense other than "don’t forget your keys."

Though the special effects and make-up are adequate for a B-movie, and the introduction of the one hood (The always wonderful William “Larry” Sanderson) who escaped death in the accident teases the audience with what appears to be an interesting detour, it all eventually leads nowhere.

Recommendation: Some short stories are short for a reason, and should be left that way. There is simply not enough here to warrant ninety-three minutes. Apparently there is a 1996 sequel titled Sometimes They Come Back Again featuring what I am sure are mind-blowing performances by Hilary Swank and Alexis Arquette, so renting the two should make for a nice afternoon nap.

Family Guy Live! in Chicago

Written by Tío Esqueleto

Seth MacFarlane, the creator/writer/producer of Family Guy, took his show on the road for two packed shows at the beautiful Chicago Theatre. MacFarlane, the voice of family guy Peter Griffin, as well as fan favorites Brian the dog and baby Stewie, to name a few, brought the entire “family” with him for a mini variety show of sorts, aptly titled Family Guy Live! The show consisted of a live table reading, musical numbers, a sneak preview of things to come, Q & A, as well as plenty of R-rated insight into both the characters, and the folks who bring them to life.

The stage was set with nine director’s chairs, an overhead screen, and various life-sized cutouts of the Griffins and friends. After a brief clip reel of greatest bits, MacFarlane took the stage, drink in hand, and welcomed everyone to the ten o’clock show or, “the one we don’t remember tomorrow.” If you’ve never seen him, he is your average 30-something, white male, his voice baring a close resemblance to that of his own “man’s best friend,” Brian.

Next, he introduced us to the rest of the team, which included voice regulars Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin), Mila Kunis (Meg Griffin), Seth Green (Chris Griffin), and Mike Henry, the voice of Peter’s friend Cleveland, and fan favorites: the greased-up deaf guy and the neighborhood senior citizen pedophile, Herbert. Filling out the rest of the chairs were executive producer and writer, Danny Smith, voice actors Alexandra Breckenridge and H. John Benjamin, as well as show writer and voice talent John Viener.

Everybody seemed genuinely excited to be there. Kunis appeared to be a little under the weather, but excited nonetheless. Most of them carried their beer of choice onto the stage with them (no less than three bottles at a time), with Green taking the half-full, fifth of Jack Daniels approach. Borstein, a Chicago area native, came out in a Bears jersey, smack-talked QB Rex Grossman (I know the words “hairy” and “vagina” were thrown around), and instantly had the crowd in her pocket.

They then transitioned into the meat and potatoes of the evening’s festivities: the table read. Viener played the part of narrator, reading the stage directions, while the rest of the cast worked their usual magic. They chose an episode from last season titled “Whistle While Your Wife Works,” in which Lois ends up having to work for Peter as he has blown off some fingers in an earlier seen fireworks accident. For the regular “Brian and Stewie” subplot, this particular episode finds baby and dog feuding over Brian’s new extremely stupid, yet forgivingly hot, girlfriend. As usual, the subplot in this one steals the show. They added a third storyline especially for the night’s event in which Meg and Chris start to work at the same place. The material will be aired in an episode later this season. They were looking for audience reaction to see if tweaks needed to be made down the road. I thought it was a nice touch. It gave the audience a feeling of exclusivity, as well as the cast an opportunity for some much-appreciated improv.

Seeing the cast in action was a sight I will not soon forget. I have a new respect for everyone involved, especially MacFarlane. Most of the time when Peter isn’t interacting with Lois, he’s in a scene with either Brian, or his sex-freak neighbor, Glenn Quagmire. The same goes for Brian. If he’s not in a scene with Stewie, he’s with Peter, and vice versa. Here’s the thing, MacFarlane voices all of these characters, and then some. Watching his face contort back and forth from Peter’s Archie Bunker-like “know it all” speech from the side of his mouth, to Glenn’s wide-eyed “giggity giggity,” to Brian’s deadpan omnipotence, was simply amazing. But it was Stewie, the eyebrow-cocked, purse-lipped nellie, that got the crowd the most. From the minute they first showed Stewie in the opening clip reel, it was quite clear that this was a Stewie crowd. One gets the feeling that there is a Stewie nation out there.

Mike Henry is the cast’s secret weapon. He barely had to glance up from his paper to make the crowd roar. His Cleveland drew thunderous applause with each line, but it was Herbert the pedophile (my, hands down, favorite Quahog resident) that really left them pissing, myself included. He has a way of subtly and precisely whistling each ‘s’ that damn near sounds like an effect done in post production. It is voice-talent gold, and exactly why you came to see it for yourself. Everybody was top notch, but it was MacFarlane and Henry who nabbed the most laughs.

Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly gain any more respect for MacFarlane and his team, they began their brief, but nothing short of fantastic, musical portion of the show. They started off with MacFarlane doing “I Need a Jew” from the controversial episode, “When You Wish Upon a Weinstein.” Seth sang as Peter, while the footage from the original episode played on the overhead screen. It was easy to just watch the original footage, forgetting that it was being sung live on the stage below. The sync was that close, and the vocals that dead on.

Afterwards, Peter and Lois did an X-rated version of “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” that included various call-and-response doozies like “you don’t cup my testes” and “you don’t tongue my asshole.” After which, at a good hour and a half into an already filthy show, they thought it a good time to remind us that if there are kids in the audience, it could get “a little blue” as this is the late show. Brilliant. Finally, they rounded out the musical portion with Herbert the pedophile’s rendition of The Little Shop of Horrors’ “Somewhere That’s Green.” This was a song sung to Chris in an earlier episode and, again, I was brought to body-trembling hysterics. This was the highlight of my night.

There was a sneak preview of the upcoming, Star Wars-themed season opener (airing this Sunday, the 23rd). It was wonderful seeing extended scenes of what looks to be a retelling of Episode IV, with Stewie’s Darth Vader demanding the most applause again.

Rounding out the evening was the dreaded Q & A. I can’t stand these things. They are painfully embarrassing cringe-fests for all involved. If you’ve ever been to a disastrous Comic Con panel, this was right up there with the disastrousest. There was, however, one good question. One we’d all been wondering, and that was what did they think of the South Park episodes dedicated to breaking down Family Guy? Their response? They tiptoed around it, but said they were just thrilled to be featured, and that they have an undying respect for the South Park guys.

Not much, but at least it was covered. And then it was covered again in true, botched Q-&-A fashion when they were asked if they were mad at the South Park guys for calling them dolphins. To which they responded, “It was manatees,” and “Where the hell were you less than five minutes ago when we just covered that?” Q & A’s; I hate them. It pretty much took the rest of the steam right out of the evening, which was actually okay. At this point we were over two hours plus, and it was time to call it an evening.

I have a whole new respect for Seth MacFarlane and the cast of Family Guy. Up until now, I’d always loved the show, but I have to admit, I certainly agreed with South Park’s sizing up of the show on their “Cartoon Wars” episodes. To be fair, they did rip on The Simpsons, but it was Family Guy who was clearly in front of the firing squad for their writing techniques and, further, their use of cutaway jokes that have nothing to do with the plot. It is the Family Guy’s M.O. (along with singing, cursing, and chicken fighting), and it works extremely well for them. Seeing them in action only solidifies this. All I know, is there were nine of the funniest manatees on the planet on that stage that night, and I’m so glad I was there to see it.