The Batman - The Complete Fourth Season

Written by Musgo Del Jefe

The Batman's been around since 1939. In almost 70 years, he's existed in print, on the silver screen, on the television, in video games, and loads of other mediums. It's hard to imagine someone that hasn't interacted with Bruce Wayne's universe in one way or another. The character has essentially remained the same in every incarnation and reboot; it's usually the themes, surrounding cast, and tone that change. I first encountered Batman as a young child, just getting home off the bus and running in to catch reruns of the campy TV show from the Sixties. Batman existed for me in the various incarnations of the Superfriends on Saturday mornings also. The character had never truly crept into my imagination until my college days when I came across The Dark Knight Returns in 1986. This Frank Miller take on the character struck a chord with this young adult at the time. That dark vision of Batman's future was a heavy influence on the Tim Burton Batman films and I was hooked. That fandom led me to the ultimate comic adaptation of this character in the Bruce Timm-produced, Batman: The Animated Series. While following the different incarnations of this universe through the Justice League Unlimited project, another Batman project flew in under my radar.

Since 2004, an animated show called The Batman has been airing on Kids' WB (now The CW). I came to this show fresh with no prior knowledge of the show with the latest DVD release, The Batman - The Complete Fourth Season. As a relatively knowledgeable Bat-fan, I immediately knew that I had dropped into a fan-friendly universe. The Fourth Season starts with the episode "A Matter Of Family." This episode introduces us to Dick Grayson, who'll become Robin by the end of this story and a mainstay for the whole season. It's the little nods to the rich tapestry of Batman's history that make this so accessible. Dick's father is voiced by Kevin Conroy (voice of Batman from Batman:TAS). Tony Zucco is voiced by Mark Hamill (voice of The Joker from Batman:TAS). Dick's origin mostly follows the initial DC Comics story with a slight nod to the wonderful Batman: Dark Victory mini-series, but the core of story remains strong, Bruce and Dick both lose their parents in front of their own eyes and initially seek crime-fighting as a way to find revenge. This link, this understanding is the basis of their relationship. In the end, Robin saves Zucco's life, but the question of "justice" remains.

There are two episodes in this season that illustrate the power of good storytelling. The power of not talking down to kids. The first is "Strange New World." The episode starts with a shot of helicopters, reminiscent of the opening sequence of Batman:TAS. The story starts with Batman surrounded by zombies and we are taken back 48 hours to see how we got to this point. Dr. Strange is behind bars at Arkham Asylum and threatens to turn all of Gotham into zombies. Slowly, Dr. Strange's prophecy starts to come true. Eventually, Batgirl and then Alfred and eventually Robin are turned into fast-moving zombies and Batman is all alone. By starting at the end, we know that Batman is going to come to a point in which he's surrounded by zombies. He has what he thinks is the antidote, but he's not sure. The delicious detective work he pulls and the "Twilight Zone"-ish ending are worthy of some of the best issues of the comic series. It's a rare episode of any superhero series that pulls in both the fun villains like zombies in combination with the great Moriarty/Holmes relationship that Dr. Strange and Batman have.

This episode is followed by the strongest episode of the season, "Artifacts." This story is a fresh break even in a 13-episode season. The story starts in 3027 and flashes back to 2027. In the far future, the Batcave has just been discovered. Investigators follow the clues in the cave to reconstruct what happened in 2027. This episode shares many elements with The Dark Knight Returns. The Batman of 2027 has the same scar as in the book, drives a tank-like Batmobile that's similar to the book and Batman Begins, and Mr. Freeze even utters the line, "the Dark Knight returns." But the plot isn't beholden to the story of the book, nor does it expect the viewer to necessarily have knowledge of that story. It's a testament to the writers that the story is influenced by other projects, but it commands the characters in a way that fits the universe that it exists in. Dick Grayson is now Nightwing and Barbara Gordon is now the wheelchair-bound Oracle.

Like in "Strange New World," there's a time element to add to the suspense. The investigators in 3027 need to find the right clues or New Gotham will be destroyed. As their investigation unfolds, so does the parallel story in 2027 with Batman battling a more powerful Mr. Freeze. The viewers are assembling the clues along with the future cops. And once the 2027 storyline is completed, there's a solution to the problem in New Gotham. Yet, there's a way that Batman, even 100 years later shows us that his "legend" lives on.

The Fourth Season has a nice variety of villains - Joker, Penguin, Clayface (two of them), Killer Croc, and more. The weakest of the bunch is Black Mask (in "The Breakout") who comes across as a very poor man's version of the Red Skull. Some stories are straightforward: bad guy commits crime and Batman and family catch them. There are also a good balance of stories that require more detective work to solve, which has always been an important part of the Batman mythos. This season introduces Harley Quinn in "Two Of A Kind", interestingly written by Paul Dini who created her in Batman:TAS. Here he has the rare opportunity to reboot his own character and does so by making her more of an equal to the Joker instead of his lackey.

The season ends with an interesting two-parter that introduces J'onn J'onnz as the Martian Manhunter. "The Joining Parts 1 & 2" tells the story of an alien invasion of Earth. While a good story, the core invasion story seems to get ignored in order to characterize the great chemistry between Batman and J'onn J'onnz. The aliens are a boring combination of The Borg and War Of The Worlds and their downfall is too easily predicted based on that comparison. All this leads to Batman's invitation to join the Justice League of America in an orbiting tower that looks much like the Hall of Justice from Superfriends.

Season Five will no doubt take place on a grander scale with Batman teaming up with other superheroes and fighter bigger battles. But, for me, it's those little moments in "Strange New World" where Batman is surrounded by zombie versions of his "family" and there's that moment of indecision. Has he solved the mystery, can he save his "family," or will they face the same fate as his parents? This series isn't a dark, adult version of Batman, but it is smart. The Batman doesn't have the best soundtrack, nor is its animated look the most desirable (why does The Riddler look like Marilyn Manson?), but it has something that I didn't expect to find. It has a heart.

THE LAST LEGION

Written by Fumo Verde

In the final days of the Roman Empire the last of Julius Caesar’s bloodline is fleeing for his life to the Empire’s northern-most stronghold in hopes of securing the alliance of a legion to support the boy Emperor. Director Lefler takes these ending moments of antiquity and weaves a tale into the next mark on the timeline of this human race, the Dark Ages. The fall of Flavius Romulus Augustus Caesar was considered the end of the Western Roman Empire and after his capture by Odoacer, the Germanic-Goth leader, the boy Caesar was never mentioned in history again. This DVD is fantasy mixed with history, or as I call it “histasy,” and Lefler stretches it into the story of King Arthur.

Colin Firth plays Aurelius the Legion Commander who has come back to Rome to serve as the Emperor’s special guard. He is loyal to Flavius, Rome, and his Eagle (the Legion Standard). While not really happy with this duty, he understands that Rome’s enemies are at the gates and are ready to over take the city and kill off the Emperor. With help from his most trusted soldiers and a secret weapon from Constantinople, Mira (Aishwarya Rai) a beautiful but deadly fighter. As Aurelius prepares to protect the young leader, the Goths attack and take the boy prisoner.

Flavius has luck on his side in Ambrosinus (Ben Kingsley), who is the boy’s teacher and mentor, and seems to be kind of a mystic. Ambrosinus is taken with Flavius to an old Roman island fort. Once imprisoned on this remote island Ambrosinus realizes their jailhouse actually holds a magic sword made for Julius Caesar back in the day. The sword has great power and has a prophecy that anyone who controls it rules the world. Grabbing the sword and escaping with the help of Aurelius and Mira, the small band make their way to Britain in the hope that the 9th Legion will still hold their loyalty to Flavius.

There are things I liked about this film and things I didn’t. Likeable was Firth who made his role believable in subtle ways, such as being faced with overwhelming odds and giving a look of “you’ve got to be kidding me” rather than the standard Hollywood Hero’s “I like the odds” look. The fight scenes moved too fast for any complexity like in 300 and they weren’t unbelievable. Kingsley’s character at one point looks as if he is throwing fireballs at the enemy, when in reality catapults are launching them. A little comedy comes through here. This movie gave a sense of reality to the story with little things like this. I also fell in love with the beauty and acting of Aishwarya Rai who I hope to see a lot more of.

Some of the things I didn’t like were how the Goths were played. When someone says “Barbarian,” how come Hollywood comes up these dirty, hairy, jacked-up hillbillies who can only speak at decibel 15? Just because someone is barbaric doesn’t mean that they always have to be dirty and can’t talk without popping a few blood vessels in the forehead region.

The last discrepancy I have with the film is the underlying theme, the sword. This sword of power was forged in Britain for Gaius Julius Caesar back when he invaded in 55-54 B.C. Problem is two things: number one, Caesar was there from August to September, enough time to forge a sword, but Caesar was too busy trying to survive. With poor weather holding back his logistical support back on the Normandy beaches and the Britons attacking him. I seriously doubt he would have wasted manpower to make a sword, which brings me to number two. The sword is too long. Every Roman solider has a short sword. It goes with their tactics, and during Caesar’s rise the short sword was a staple for the Roman Legions. The sword ends up in the hands of a future king of Britain and gains the name “Excalibur.” Also, the last Legion stationed at Hadrian’s Wall was 6th Vitrix, the 9th was in York for a time but seemed to have been disbanded after the campaign was over.

The extras weren’t anything special or out of the ordinary. The commentary is always cool to listen too for those interested in making movies. The deleted scenes didn’t add to the movie, so in or out, we didn’t miss them. This movie has its moments but the story is weak and you keep thinking something big is going to happen but never does. It has a semi-typical Hollywood ending but what doesn’t nowadays. If you’re home on a rainy day and this comes on HBO and you have laundry to do, with a fatty and the right munchies this will entertain you for a while.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Written by Pollo Misterioso

Five years ago when someone said Pirates of the Caribbean the classic Disneyland ride came to mind, complete with “yo hos” and “dead men tell no tales.” Now with The Pirates of the Caribbean films, pirates have a whole new association, Captain Jack Sparrow has even been added to the Disney ride. Ridden too many times and a theme park attraction begins to lose its novelty, and like the ride that it takes its title from Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, the third and (hopefully) final installment the Pirates of the Caribbean films stretches stories and characters so thin, that its hard to remember why you loved it so much in the first place.

Both the writers of the film and I are under the impression that you have seen the previous two films, The Curse of the Black Pearl and Dead Man’s Chest, because if you have not then you are out of luck. In fact, if you have not seen them back-to-back, it is hard to pick up on all of the references used in the film. As a disclaimer, see the other two first, and with that aside, this is the final chapter to this trilogy.

The last that we left our favorite crew, Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) had just been brought back to life to help retrieve Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) who is in Davy Jones’ Locker, something like purgatory. We begin At World’s End with Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), William Turner (Orlando Bloom) and the rest of the crew trying to find a ship and map to Davy Jones’ Locker. The problem being that Jack must be brought back because he is one of the nine Pirate Lords that complete the Brethren Court. They must unite to fight against the East India Trading Co., which has been slowly taking over the seas with the control of Davy Jones.

The film is about freedom, the freedom of choice, of honor and of the self. Every character wants something different, but in the pirate world betrayal and backstabbing are a part of it, so it gives the themes a little twist. But this is where the problems lie; there is just too much going on in already very long movie.

Will Turner is trying to save his father, so that involves making plans with the British, with Davy Jones and Jack Sparrow. Jack wants The Black Pearl and that involves Davy Jones and his heart, the British and Turner. Davy Jones wants his heart so that he can control his actions and that involves the British and everyone else that is trying to get to it first. This isn’t even getting into Elizabeth’s or Captain Barbossa’s stories. This being my point—there is just too much plot to get through that it doesn’t impact the viewer when important things happen.

The film becomes exhausting on so many levels, but the visual effects are incredible; fantasy merging with reality never looked so good. The most interesting scenes occur in Davy Jones’ Locker, when Jack Sparrow goes crazy, but this strays from the linear story so director Gore Verbinski took some chances with it and it worked. Everything is filmed at such a grandiose scale that it leaves the viewer in awe. In fact, the characters even become larger than life, escaping more than just death, but immortality.

If you liked the first two films, then you should see this one. It picks up where the last one left off and leaves many questions unanswered, but that really isn’t the problem. It is entertaining, made to be a blockbuster hit. And for that, it delivers, giving you the thrill of the first time, but only the first time. But by the end of this movie, there are so many loose ends left to be tied that the fourth film is inevitable, if only anybody knew that three times was too much and I want to get off the ride.

This DVD comes with another disk of all the bonus features. For somebody interested in the making of this film, they will be very happy with some of the options. One of the more interesting features is “Keith and The Captain: On Set with Johnny Depp and The Rock Legend.” It is fun to watch the way that Johnny Depp and Keith Richards interact with one another on and off set. Also, for any CGI buffs, take a look at “Anatomy of a Scene: The Maelstrom” because here they show how the sets of the boats were created, the blue screens used and the time that went into just creating the last scene. Another interesting feature is “The Pirate Maestro: The Music of Hans Zimmer,” which goes into the recording studio to show how they approached this film score different than the previous two films.

THE PRINCESS BRIDE (20th Anniversary Edition)

Written by Pollo Misterioso

Everyone loves a good story, especially one that can stand the test of time. Twenty years later, after two decades of filmmaking, The Princess Bride (1987), a simple fairy tale, is still entertaining and heartwarming, a true testament to its timelessness and perfection of a well told story.

The Princess Bride tells a story within a story, framed by a grandfather reading his grandson the book. When the grandfather begins The Princess Bride, we follow along, as the narrative unfolds in front of us. We are introduced to the lovers of the tale, Westley (Cary Elwes) who is a poor farm boy and Buttercup (Robin Wright Penn). They are separated when Westley leaves to find fortune but word gets back that he is killed at sea. Five years later it is announced that Buttercup is to wed the evil Prince Humperdink and ultimately marry into the royal family. It is when she is kidnapped by three robbers, that the rescue of Buttercup becomes priority for both Humperdink and a mysterious man in black, who is most obviously Westley, also Dread Pirate Roberts, in disguise. Westley is challenged by the robbers, one of whom is a talented swordsman who goes by Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), leading them with wits is Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) and the other a giant named Fezzik (Andre the Giant)—two of them ultimately team up with Westley to help each other in their quests.

The story is simply a tale about true love, and everyone is involved someway in the fight for it. Besides our main characters, the sub plots provide much of the intrigue and entertainment. Inigo Montoya has been searching his whole life for a six-fingered man, a man that killed his father and according to him, must prepare to die.

This film is brilliantly cast, even down to the smallest cameo roles; these actors embody their characters. Inigo is such a wonderful character and Mandy Patinkin gives him such life and warmth, the Spanish accent helps. Robin Wright Penn sparkles on the screen, being that she is easy to photograph but her performance is heartfelt and believable. Billy Crystal makes an appearance in one scene as Miracle Max, and even this character plays an important part of story. The care and attention given to these characters makes it believable that they live on in their fairy tale world.

The Princess Bride is charming for its clever way of making fun of its own genre. Very subtly, through dialogue and plot points, it satirizes the familiar story that it plays upon. The film makes fun of iconic danger spots, namely The Cliffs of Insanity, or the Pit of Despair, also the danger comes in all sort of sizes, from giants to the ominous Rodents of Unusual Size.

Most importantly, this film has heart—from the relationship of a grandson to his grandfather, all the way to the fantasy love story of Westley and Buttercup. Fantasy can change lives, being that it cures the little boy of his illness by the end of the film and this film can cure the decades of bad film that have followed. Like an old story retold at bedtime, The Princess Bride is as reliable now as it was the first time.

The extras that accompany this film share the nostalgic love for The Princess Bride, with featurettes “The Princess Bride: The Untold Tales,” with interviews with cast members and “The Art of Fencing,” which gives background information of the swordfights in the film. The DVD features the official The Princess Bride game, called “True Love and High Adventure” but the game, definitely geared towards children, calls for Internet play as well, so the game is incomplete. Hopefully the purchase of this DVD is for the movie and not the interactive game, because then it is worth the purchase.

MOMENTS WITH FIDEL

Written by El Puerquito Magnifico

First Run Features has released Moments With Fidel, a rarely seen film from the Cuban Film Archive, as part of their Cuba: Paths to Revolution series. It’s a collection of archival footage that highlights some of the more important moments in the Cuban leader’s lifetime, from the toppling of Batista’s imperialist regime in 1959, to present day.

I reviewed this movie hoping to learn a bit more about a subject in which my knowledge is sorely lacking. The fact that this movie was not made in America made it all the more appealing, as I knew it wouldn’t be tainted by an anti-Castro slant. I was hoping to get a more balanced look at this controversial figure than the American media typically provides. Moments With Fidel didn’t quite deliver on all counts, but it did offer a little more insight into Fidel’s motivations.

The filmmaker seemed to assume that the viewer had a decent knowledge of Cuban history. As I mentioned before, I have only the vaguest knowledge, which worked against me, as I couldn’t keep up with a lot of the information. I didn’t walk away with any more knowledge of Cuban history than I did before, but I did get to see a bit more of the personal side of Fidel Castro. Footage showcasing visits to a schoolyard does not show the vile dictator we’ve been taught about on the news. Rather, it shows a very genuine man who cares about the people and the culture of his country. Politicians can stand on a pulpit and lie through their teeth, but seeing Castro play baseball and basketball with a group of school kids shows both a love of the game and a free spirit. You can’t fake that.

I was also impressed with various speeches that were part of the documentary, speeches in which Castro was more than willing to admit mistakes the Party had made, and accept responsibility for setbacks that had befallen the people of Cuba. In a world where leaders are quick to pass the buck and blame everyone but themselves, it was shocking and refreshing to see this very humble behavior. Again, I walked away feeling like there’s a lot more to this man than we are usually told.

The extra features on this DVD release are three rare films. My Brother Fidel is a 1977 conversation between Fidel Castro and a 92-year old man who met Cuba’s national hero, Jose’ Marti. The First Delegate recounts the history of the Communist Party of Cuba, and Condemn Me, It Does Not Matter discusses Fidel’s role in the Moncada Assault of July 29, 1963. Once again, it seemed that a slightly more than rudimentary knowledge of Cuban history was necessary, and I felt a little lost watching these short documentaries.

Despite my lack of knowledge and mild trouble with these films, I still enjoyed them. At the very least, you will get to see another side to a man so often maligned in the American press, and perhaps learn a little something. On another note, it’s worth it just to watch Castro deliver a speech to the Cuban people. His oratory skills, even though he speaks a language I do not understand, are inspiring and captivating. I was very glad to spend just a few moments with Fidel.

The Best Of Crank Yankers Uncensored

Written by Musgo Del Jefe

It must have sounded like such a great idea for a show. "We'll make some crank calls and re-enact them with puppets." It's certainly unique. It's a step above The Jerky Boys and slightly different than the similar guest comedians featured on Dr. Katz and not nearly as clever as the interviews of Creature Comforts animated as zoo animals. Crank Yankers started as a Comedy Central show and has moved to MTV2 in recent years. The set-up is simple and opens itself to many possibilities. A number of comedians make actual crank calls in the guise of a recurring character. The calls are re-enacted with additional props to add a visual element to the verbal comedy of the phone call. In theory, the visual element of the puppets should help flesh out any lack of comedy in the phone call. It does work but really only in small doses.

The Best Of Crank Yankers Uncensored is three hours and over 50 phone calls of the Comedy Central episodes of the show. The cast of characters has grown with each new season of the show. Each comedian portraying their different characters have a unique method of trying to keep the callers on the line as long as possible. The problem is that often the character is a one-joke character and the bits go on past the point that they continue to be funny.

Special Ed (Jim Florentine) relies on repetition of phrases and the occasional "Yaaaaay!" Ed is annoying from the very beginning of each call, often calling men "Miss" or women "Hey, Mister." It's his affection of being mentally retarded that usually gives the "mark" a little patience with him.

My favorite character is Gladys (Wanda Sykes). Her bit is that of an African-American women who is usually angry or needs help because of a unique situation that she is in. She's had a turd in the back of her car that she picked up after being towed or been glued to her toilet seat. These scenes play well because the situation is so absurd and played seriously that it's hard for the "mark" to tell if she's telling the truth or not. The more they don't believe her, the more indignant she becomes.

Boomer and The Nudge (Jimmy Kimmel and Patton Oswalt) are obnoxious morning DJs. Their calls to unsuspecting "marks" are just over the top enough to be believable. Their fast-talking banter is usually generic enough to convince the "mark" that they are from a real radio station. Trying to get a man to put his hands down a coworkers pants is funny but it goes on at least a minute too long.

Spoonie Luv (Tracy Morgan) is the least funny character included in this collection. Like some other Tracy Morgan characters, he's completely in his own world. The characters lewd suggestions such as what he wants to include on a note with some flowers he is sending is stereotypical and usually proves to make the call an obvious prank.

The best character for the actual prank call is Adam Carolla's Mr. Birchum. He's perfected this character on radio for years. Mr. Birchum always starts as a believable 62-year-old Vietnam veteran who's missing three fingers on one hand and part of a leg. For example, when he calls the "mark" about being abducted, he starts off very mild to gain the "mark's" trust. Once they believe him to be a serious caller, he turns the conversation to stranger and stranger topics until the "figure it out". The experience he's had with the character shows in the complete back-story that he can pull out at any time of the conversation.

The prank call is a dying art. Done well, it's an impressive offshoot of improvisational comedy. But it's still typically a one- or two-joke format. While the puppetry here is unique, it's not enough to save a bit that outstays its welcome. This Comedy Central release doesn't contain any extras. It doesn't really need them. Three hours of prank calls are really too many and you become numb to the jokes. There's a Tenacious D puppet video at the beginning of the disc. More non-prank call scenes may have made this disc more enjoyable. Experienced in small doses, this series reminds us that there are lots of talented improvisational comics around today, but this isn't the best format for their comedy.

The Mod Squad: Season 1, Volume 1

Written by Senora Bicho

The Mod Squad is a police drama that originally aired from 1968 to 1973. The show is centered on a small undercover unit within the police department that can get inside the youth crime scene. The trio includes Pete Cochran (Michael Cole), a runaway from a rich family, Lincoln Hayes (Clarence Williams III) from Watts, and Julie Barnes (Peggy Lipton) who is all about flower power. They are all young, living off the streets, and causing trouble until police captain Greer (Tige Andrews) talks them into they becoming undercover cops in order to avoid jail after they get each busted.

Bud Ruskin, a real life police officer who ran an undercover narcotics unit, created the show. It is said to be partially based on his experiences with that unit. The Mod Squad was also Aaron Spelling’s first television success for his newly formed production company with Danny Thomas. Spelling always had his finger on the pulse of the youth market and his first show is clear evidence of that. It offers hip kids with cool clothes, great music and a beautiful locations.

The series achieved modest popularity along with several Emmy and Golden Globe nominations with Lipton winning a Golden Globe in 1971. She was one of my favorite actresses on Twin Peaks and I always thought she was gorgeous with an air of grace, but in The Mod Squad she is hot and feisty although sometimes her broken spirit surfaces. She is the best part of the show and was very deserving of the Golden Globe. She was nominated four out of the five years that it ran while the series was nominated three out of five.

Season one sets up the story and background and features cases including murder, counterfeiting, kidnapping, and lots more. It is your typical police drama but what sets it apart is the group’s youth and the bonds they form. What is also unique is that the unit tries to help out both sides, being young they understand the problems and issues that the people they are trying to arrest are going through. This presents them with a lot of internal struggles and who exactly are the good guys and the bad guys

The time frame of the show provides a interesting element too. The clothes, slang, music, and attitudes of the ‘60s are fun to watch and really come shining through. There is no gratuitous violence and the trio doesn’t even carry guns. One marketing tag line of the show was “One White, One Black, One Blonde” which illustrates the groundbreaking aspect of the show. Putting a black guy, a white guy and a woman together as a tight-knit group let alone working together as cops was unheard of at the time.

This DVD collection includes the first 13 episodes of the first season, there were a total of 26, along with some special features. “Forming The Mod Squad” provides information about the creation of the show and includes interviews with Lipton and Cole. “Inside ‘The Teeth of the Barracuda’ 1968” offers more interviews with Lipton and Cole and focuses on the year 1968. “The Friends of The Mod Squad” is about the guest stars of the show and has interviews with Lou Gossett, Jr., Leslie Ann Warren, Tyne Daly and Ed Asner.

There is some interesting information presented here but I would have preferred if they had included all 26 episodes from the season instead, especially considering that it is selling for $30. The price tag is a little pricey for only 13 episodes. If you are curious, rent it first.

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE

Written by Fantasma el Rey

Hey, gang. It’s the movie we have all waited so long for, finally out on DVD, The Simpsons Movie. Here are all our favorites from the television show in a 90-minute feature film. Marge, Homer, Lisa, Bart, Maggie and the entire town of Springfield gather together to provide…well, not much at all really. So join me now as I reflect back on the hour and a half of my life that I will never get back and could have spent doing something more productive, like watching episodes from the first five seasons of the show, way back when they were funny.

So here is the plot in a peanut shell. Homer adopts a pig about to be slaughtered after a Krusty Burger commercial shoot and takes the thing home, naming it Spider-Pig. After two days Spider-Pig’s waste, which Homer stores in a homemade silo, is full. What to do? Homer being Homer decides in a hurry to dump the silo into Lake Springfield, which by the way has recently been somewhat cleaned up thanks to the efforts of Lisa. The pig’s waste mixed with the existing gunk in the lake turns the entire body of water toxic and the town has to be contained in a glass dome. And now it’s up to Homer to redeem himself by saving the town, his family, and his friends from the mess that he created.

Along the way we get a couple of laughs, well mostly just light chuckles, smiles really and not many at that. The film has moments and that’s it, much like the current state of the TV show. We do get to see some firsts, such as Lisa’s boyfriend, Bart’s embrace of the Ned Flanders way of fathering, Marge says “God damn,” and we get to see Bart’s “doodle,” but it still isn’t enough to make me want to see this one again in its entirety, ever. The DVD does contain some okay extras that might be worth the purchase for die-hard fans, one being the commentary by James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, Dan Castellaneta, and Yeardly Smith, the others being American Idol segments and Homer’s monologue for The Tonight Show.

Besides the fact that I think this film is ten years too late I couldn’t help but get a bit excited at the opening credits, seeing as I chose not to see this thing in the theater and save ten bucks. That excitement was fleeting for even in the opening minutes of the movie I could see it was going nowhere fast and was reminded again why I no longer watch the show and haven’t for years. I do enjoy catching the reruns of those early seasons when Homer was an average, not-so-bright dad and Bart was a true hell raiser. Ah the good ol’ days.

KISS LOVES YOU

Written by Tío Esqueleto

In 1993 KISS was experiencing moderate commercial success with their latest studio album, Revenge. It was nowhere near the attention they had received back in their 1970s grease-paint glory days, but compared to recent offerings, and with two singles, “Unholy” and “Domino” getting rock radio play, Revenge was by all means a success. Gone were the day-glow spandex and ripped blouses of the previous ten years. Instead it was a return to black leather and studs and all things metal. The fans took note, as this was one step closer in the direction they had all been longing for, but were told would never happen. Could it be? Were the make-up and boots to follow? Or, better still, a full-blown reunion with all four original members? Over the next five years fans would get their wish, for better or for worse.

KISS Loves You is a documentary by Jim Heneghan that looks into the world of KISS fandom at this particularly crucial point in the band’s history. Its focus is on convention-goers at the time and, in particular, follows rival tribute bands, Strutter, Firehouse, The KISS Family, and one-time Ace Frehley tribute artist, Bill Baker, as their idols triumphant return leads to unexpected consequences.

Heneghan sets the mood by first taking the viewer to the show floor at a KISS convention where we meet the many colorful characters (many painted up as their favorite member) in attendance. Think heavy metal trekkies, if you will. It is here we learn that it is the fans, not the band, who are responsible for putting on the event, and the fans would love nothing more than to see their idols put aside their differences, put on the make-up, and give it one last go around as the KISS they had originally fallen in love with.

It is also here that we meet rival tribute bands, Strutter and Firehouse, each aptly named after defining songs from KISS’s seminal first album. Also in tow are likable, up-and-coming tributists, Dressed to Kill. All three attempt to make a living on the rapidly growing convention circuit, but it is the bitter and childish rivalry between #1, Strutter, and #2, Firehouse, that is on display here. It would appear that life emulated art when faux Peter and faux Ace of Strutter (the premiere KISS tribute band at the time) had had enough of the way they were being treated by faux Gene, and broke off to form their own tribute band. What ensues is an entertaining, tactless, array of cheap shots (some even aimed at supposed idol, Peter Criss), backstabbing, and questionable business practices in this surreal arena of competitive impersonation.

In the end, all is for naught as KISS first start to hold their own official KISS conventions where they perform live (still no make-up, no Peter, no Ace), shutting down any unofficial KISS conventions along the way, and cutting out any potential tribute gigs for the rivaling camps. When asked what a reunion tour would do for the tribute business as fans could now opt for the real deal, faux Ace of Firehouse speculates with confidence that it could only help to create more buzz and more bookings in small towns in rural America where the “real deal” wouldn’t be playing. Ultimately, after the full-blown reunion extravaganza begins in 1996, both bands find themselves out of work and are forced to make amends, pool what members and resources they have left, and champion on once again as Strutter.

Heneghan also focuses his lens on the family Ventrice, or The KISS Family, as the patriarch lovingly refers to them throughout the film. They are a four-member unit each with his or her own favorite member. You have Dad, a drum fan, as Peter Criss; mystery family member #2, who doesn’t say a word, but is clearly the Gene fan of the brood; a four-year-old son who says he loves Paul Stanley, but looks a little coaxed, if not just a shy four-year-old, and finally, there is Mom, who admits she just got into KISS, and has conveniently chosen to go with Ace.

As with the other fan focuses on display here, we follow The KISS Family through the unofficial conventions, where they take it all in and further their son’s Paulophillia. Next we rejoin them at the official convention, where the family (in full regalia) has shelled out $100, each, for tickets, as well as go through the trouble of getting a custom-made plaque professing their son’s love for Paul Stanley complete with a photo of junior in full make-up and firehouse helmet, in hopes that they can maybe present it to Mr. Stanley, himself. A lot of work went into this plaque, and it eventually makes its way to Paul during a Q & A, only to be left behind after the band has left the building. The filmmakers retrieve the forgotten plaque from a stagehand at the venue who agrees just how embarrassing it would be to go through all that hard work and sentiment only to have it tossed aside at the end of the night. The whole plaque debacle is a real crusher all the way around.

We revisit the Ventrice family six years later. The reunion tour has come and gone and, sadly, so has the family Ace. Mom and Dad are now separated, with Dad’s new lady-friend now part of the mix. The filmmakers tell Dad that his son’s plaque was left behind and that they retrieved it from the venue that same day way back when. It takes a couple of minutes before he realizes exactly what happened and clearly he is hurt and disappointed. Junior is now ten years old and, sans Paul make-up, is ready to move on to something new.

Bill Baker is also under Heneghan’s microscope. Tribute artist and one-time friend of Frehley’s, Baker’s focus is strictly on Ace. He looks like Ace, can talk like Ace, and even owns a great deal of original Ace artifacts, including the star earring he wore on the first album cover, original Destroyer and Love Gun costumes, and those amazing Japanese marionettes (you know the ones) often seen in fan-club pictures of Ace back in the day. Aside from collecting and impersonating Ace, Baker also befriended Frehley in the early ‘90s while doing work on his guitars. It was this guitar work that landed Baker his collection, as he would tech the guitars in trade for memorabilia and time spent with his idol turned friend. As with a lot of KISS fans, Baker separates Ace from Gene and Paul, pointing out how cool and down to Earth he is (we even get to hear a message Ace left on his answering machine saying he’s really sorry he missed him at a recent gig and to give a call back), and conveying just how lucky he was that he had picked “the good one” to emulate. It is clear that Baker is not only a Frehley fan, but Frehley’s friend.

Flash-forward, we learn that ever since the MTV Unplugged special and reunion tour that followed Frehley hasn’t been in touch with Baker nor will he return his phone calls. Basically, a phone call from the majors was all it took to cut Baker out of his life completely. Now it is here, and only here, that Baker let’s slip that Frehley would occasionally ask him for money, putting to rest any viewer speculation as to why the sudden disconnect. Hurt, Baker has since sold most of his collection (affording himself a home) and has now moved his focus towards Elvis, ultimately trading in one lighting bolt for another.

KISS Loves You is a backhanded love letter that reads both ways, from fan to artist and artist to fan. Its focus is on those of us who took that ride from Revenge to reunion, and its aftermath. From wishing for something I would never get (to see the original four in make-up), to finally getting everything I had asked for and more (multiple shows on multiple tours and an album), to just plain over saturation (KISS bathrobe) and overkill (KISS caskets?). It was hard. I was there. I got KISS fever from a Revenge-era videotape called KISS: X-Treme Close-Up that a friend had to force me to watch. Up to this point, all I knew of KISS was the pinball machine at the old roller rink, the song on my first K-tel record (“I Was Made for Lovin’ You”), and the guy with the tongue was in that Tom Selleck movie with the robot spiders. Very limited. The first half of the tape chronicled the early years of the band, from inception to breakup, and I must have watched it fifty times. Being a superhero freak, and a horror-movie geek, this was so up my alley. Add to that my recent obsession with everything 1970s, and I was a bonafide born-again KISStian.

Heneghan could have easily turned his lens on my friends and me at the time and gotten similar results. I was at many of the same events, including the now infamous convention in Troy, Michigan, when Gene and Paul showed up unannounced and reclaimed some original costumes that had gone missing from their private collection only to show up later on the convention circuit, all of which is caught in Heneghan’s film. To say this little film turned out to be strangely personal to me, would be an understatement. That is not to say that a KISS fan under different circumstances couldn’t or wouldn’t enjoy it, or the same of a non-KISS fan for that matter. Like all good docs, it takes a very specific subject and reports it in a matter that’s both interesting and engaging, regardless of prior affiliations. However, I took this very same ride, in a lot of ways, bumps and all, and now I have a nice little 70-minute film as a souvenir. First piece of KISS merchandise I’ve picked up in quite a while.

Lost: The Complete Third Season

Written by Hombre Divertido

Season three was definitely a season of risks for Lost. The decisions to show six episodes from October to November of 2006, and then show no episodes again until February certainly tested the loyalty of the fans.

Though a goal of not showing reruns may have been honorable, a show with this much depth and plot twists may have benefited from allowing fans to watch episodes a second time without having to go to the internet.

Nonetheless season three did kick off in October of 2006 with a large fan base anxiously waiting to find out what had become of those taken hostage by the mysterious Others, as well as the outcome of numerous other storylines.

Another risk taken this season was allowing so much of the first episodes of season three to focus on the Others. The mystery that was this group of people inhabiting our island with the passengers of the downed Oceanic Flight 815 had made for some great television the previous two years, and revealing too much about them could take away the intrigue surrounding them.

Though the first six episodes are good, they do spend far too much time with Kate (Evangeline Lilly), Sawyer (Josh Holloway), and Jack (Matthew Fox) being held captive in storylines that seem repetitive, and leave us wondering what is going on with the rest of the stranded group.

When Lost came back in February of 2007, it did so with a bang. Sawyer and Kate return to the camp and eventually so does Jack. The writing is some of the best of the series including a brilliant episode where we find out how Ben came to the island and achieved his current status, and one of the best episodes of the season “Tricia Tanaka is Dead” where the writers clearly display their ability to create comedy.

The world of Lost expands substantially in season three with new cast members, new islands, new stations, and much more. It is fun to watch the storylines and characters grow along with their environment.

There are some wonderful bonus features in this set along with some real duds. “The World of the Others,” “Lost Flashbacks,” and “The Lost Book Club” are thoroughly enjoyable and serve the ultimate purpose of bonus material in that watching them will make you want to watch the episodes even if you have already seen them. On the other side of the coin is a short feature with Terry O’Quinn, who plays John Locke, showing how to throw a knife. This segment is a waste of space. A few of the deleted scenes are interesting, but most were clearly deleted for a reason. The cast of Lost now has three seasons of bloopers that look staged.

Recommendation: This is good stuff for the fans. It’s a must for those who own the first two seasons, and there is enough bonus material to make it worthwhile