TOTALLY BAKED

Written by Fumo Verde

Totally Baked is a hybrid, a mix between a movie and a documentary or as they call it a “Pot-U-mentary” which makes even harder to follow for non-stoned people. Director Lee Abbott blatantly comes out by trying to disprove the lies that have been embedded in our society since the late ‘20s and early ‘30s. The film’s main story centers on a high school debate reunion (you had to be high to even come up with that), but it cuts back and forth between stand-up comics, sketches, and what at times feels like real people who smoke pot discussing how it has affected their lives.

As stoners, new stuff coming at us on the screen is cool and trippy. Was I high when I watched this? What are you high? Come on, my pen name translates into "I smoke green." But even with the generous puffs I was taking of the bud, the movie only got some jaded laughs from me. I, like all of you who fire up the sweet herb, already know the facts, so this story was preaching to the choir. Let me break it down so we all don’t get confused and forget where the lighter is.

The captain of the debate team has his old high school team over, but just before the party starts, two medical marijuana activists take refuge from the law and hold the team hostage. Enter the captain’s ex-wife with smoking hot teenage daughter in tow. The ex is having a conniption because she found a roach in the girl’s purse. She then lights up a cig, and facts appear on the screen telling the deaths caused by cigarettes each year. She then takes a swig of scotch and again the screen fills with facts about alcohol-related deaths. As this part of this story goes on, the “activists” get the debate team stoned off their asses, so eventually the captain has to talk seriously about weed to his smoking-hot teenage daughter, a thing most parents never seem to get right.

In plain stoner truth, the storyline was weak, but the way over-the-top acting was crucial to make the stereotypes palatable. The smoking-hot daughter, played a normal character; everyone else in the film part was way outside. The documentary parts gave me a chuckle or two. William Atherton, who I love as Jerry Hathaway in Real Genius, plays the CEO of Fun Onions. His performance was the best in this whole flick. He made me laugh, and the idea of telling people that smoking pot keeps you from becoming gay was rich.

I understand and highly agree with Abbott, but this film won’t change the current situation on the laws regarding pot and it won’t be seen by anyone but stoners. Slowly things are changing, and as the narrator, who could only be seen by the stoned people in the movie, and us of course, said it best, as the next generation gradually takes over the laws will change.

This movie is a sidebar to what we all recognize as a futile effort to keep people from doing what they want to do. I applaud the cast and crew and Mr. Abbott for taking a shot at what we see as hypocrisy against the chemical Delta 9 Tetrahydrocannabinol, THC, but even smoking bowls of Train Wreck couldn’t make this movie any better. I bet if I were sober it would have really sucked. The extras, oh yeah, there wasn’t anything good at all. If you find it in the 99-cent bin in your local CVS, then maybe, but you would have to be pretty baked to get it and think it was cool. If it comes on cable and you got time to blow, go for it, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.